What You Don't Know
by Aourie
Summary: Rima Mashiro has a lot of things in her past she doesn't want anyone to find out about- but there are just some things you can't keep a secret.
1. Chapter 1

_**What You Don't Know **_**takes place in a kind of alternate America, where school is all year long. At this point, it is July, not long after "summer" break. Rima, Amu, Tadase, Kukai, Nagihiko, and Nadeshiko are 17, Yaya is 16, Kairi is 15, Utau is 19 and Ikuto is 22. If there's anything you're still confused about, feel free to ask me :D**

**So without further ado, please enjoy chapter one of **_**What You Don't Know**_**!**

_**Disclaimer: The plot is completely my own. Any similarities to pre-existing books, movies, shows or fan fictions is purely coincidental. I do not own Shugo Chara! or any other licensed products mentioned. **_**(Duh).**

_**Chapter 1**_

"Do you have your paperwork, Rima?" Mrs. Mashiro asked her daughter, looking up from her newspaper. The petite blonde rolled her eyes, taking a bite from her cherry Pop tart.

"I'm not ten. Yes, I have the paperwork," Rima replied in that way teenagers had, like they thought their parent's had not brain whatsoever inside their skulls.

"I have to work late tonight," her mother continued, purposefully ignoring the girl's tone, " so can you pick up Emiko after you finish school?"

Rima sighed like the task was such a bother, but smiled at the two year old hoisted on her hip. Rima was the one she wanted when she woke up and neither Mrs. nor Mr. Mashiro could break the habit. Rima ran a hand over her straight blonde hair and kissed her on the cheek before setting her on her booster seat and getting her some cheerios with only a splash of milk, just the way Emi liked it. "That's fine," Rima replied, glancing at the clock. She straightened in shock, dashing over to the counter to get her keys and the remainder of her breakfast. "I've gotta go!"

"Ms. Mashiro. You're late.

Rima rose an eyebrow at the receptionist, fixing the strap on her messenger bag. The artificially brunette woman glared over her half-glasses with a pinched expression, making her wrinkles more pronounced. When the stare down didn't seem to affect Rima, the older woman sighed and turned to look at her computer screen. After pushing a few buttons, the old printer on the other side of the room started to whir, spitting out a few off-white sheets of paper. After retrieving the papers, the receptionist leveled another glare at the blonde teen. "Here's your schedule, a map, and a few pieces of information you may need. You've missed part of first period, so I'll get you a late slip," she added with a put-upon sigh as she pushed a button on the little gray machine sitting on the counter, which clicked out the date and time onto a green slip of paper that had Seiyo High School preprinted in black on it.

"Thanks," Rima said sarcastically, stuffing the papers into her bag and accepting the late slip. Outside the office, Rima looked around, trying to remember how to get to her first period classroom without looking at the map. She'd only been inside the school once, when she'd picked out her classes a few days earlier, but she never wanted to rely on anyone or anything again. Rima looked down at pale scar on her arm, flinching at the memory of how she had gotten it. She shook her head harshly, dispelling the memory. Drama. She had drama first, which meant she needed to go… Rima looked both ways. Left. The drama room was on the hallway to the left. Heading off to her first period class in her new school, Rima's hand unconsciously rubbed against the scar. Would her past follow her even here?

**What did you think? It wasn't too bad, right? I know it was short, but it's a first chapter, and I'm not so good at those. It'll be better in a few chapters, I promise. Hang in until then! **

**What can Rima mean, would her past follow her? Where did she get that scar? :O You'll just have to wait an see ;P**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yo! I decided to post two chapters today since the first was slow, so without further ado, chapter 2~ (that rhymed)**

**Chapter 2**

When Rima opened the door to the drama room, she was met by applause. They weren't for her though. They were for the girl with long purple hair on the stage set against the right wall. She took a bow and descended the stairs, taking a seat at her desk.

"Wonderful job, Nagihiko! I should expect no less from you," the woman Rima supposed was the teacher praised. Rima looked around the full classroom, feeling a little intimidated. She wasn't used to so many people in one class- all her previous schools had been small, in both size and population. Rima took a deep breath, assumed a blank expression, and cleared her throat. The teacher wheeled around, smiling brightly.

"You must be Rima!" she announced, putting a hand to Rima's back and leading her further into the room. Rima hesitantly handed the teacher, whose name was Ms. Song, her late slip. Ms. Song accepted it graciously, ignoring the way Rima shifted away from the light touch on her back. "Class, this is Rima Mashiro. She just transferred here from a little town out west. Rima, can you tell the class a little something about yourself?"

Rima blinked, looking up at the drama teacher with a blank stare. When Ms. Song laughed nervously, Rima turned her attention to her new peers. She tilted her head to the side and said," My name is Rima Mashiro. I'm seventeen. This is the third school I've been in in the last three years. I have a younger sister named Emiko," she added fondly, eyes softening before she shook her head roughly, blanking out her emotions. "There isn't really any more for me to say."

"Wow, third school?" someone, a boy with russet hair, asked. He grinned at her with a wink. "Makes me wonder what made you wonder what made you leave those other schools." "I killed a guy. I'm on the run," Rima deadpanned, smiling slightly when he laughed. Even after all that had happened to her, Rima still loved to make people laugh.

"A-alright," Ms. Song stuttered, pointing a shaking finger to the empty seat next to the girl with purple hair. "Why don't you go sit next to Nagihiko…."

Rima rolled her eyes and did as she was told. "Geez, I was joking. This _is_ acting class, isn't it? I didn't _actually_ kill anyone."

Ms. Song laughed nervously. "I knew that. OK, class, today we're going to…."

"Hey," the girl (boy!) next to her said with a slight smile. "I'm Nagihiko. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Rima stared at him for a few seconds before stating, "I don't like you."

Nagi blinked, looking at the short blonde girl curiously. She didn't like him? Not that he expected every girl to love him at first sight, but still. He hadn't done anything to deserve her _dis_like, either. He sweat dropped, staring back at her impassive expression. "Do you mind if I ask why?"

"Actually," she replied, looking away, "I do mind."

"I see," he said nervously, glancing up at the clock. There was only ten minutes left in the class. When he glanced back at the new girl, he saw her unconsciously rubbing her thumb against a long scar on her upper arm. Her expression was pinched and her free hand was clenched so tightly the knuckles on the pale hand were even whiter. When the bell rang, Rima was already up and out before Nagi could offer to help her to her next class.

It was third period, art, and Rima was already feeling slightly claustrophobic. There were too many faces, too many people. Rima hated the paranoia left over from the Bad Days, so she made a conscious effort to _not _feel it. The canvas in front of her was still blank even though they were supposed to be painting the bowl of fruit in the center of the room. Rima wasn't much of an artist, among other things, but she took a deep a breath and picked up the thin paintbrush. This year needed to be different, or the Bad Days might find her again. She needed to be a different person. Tightening a fist around the paintbrush, she attempted to smile at the girl next to her, a girl with pink hair who was also in her second period class. She wasn't the first person Rima would've liked to try befriending, but she was the closest person to her right then. Her throat closed up and she looked down briefly, glaring at the floor as she collected herself.

Painting the fake smile back on her face, she said weakly, "Hi…."

The pink haired girl turned her head and frowned at her. "Hey. You're the new girl, aren't you? What was your name… Rima? I'm Amu, it's nice to meet you," the girl continued, looking like she was trying just as hard to fake a smile. Rima blinked, frowning. She turned away, unclenching the hand around the paintbrush. "Hey! What's wrong?"

Rima sighed, rubbing her thumb against her scar. After a moment, Rima felt a hand on her shoulder and she had to conceal her cringe.

"Let's start over," Amu suggested, waiting until Rima looked up at her. When she did, Amu held out her right hand and said, "Hi, I'm Amu Hinamori. You're the new girl, Rima, right? Let's be friends." The pinkette smiled, a much less fake smile than the first one and waited for Rima to shake her hand. When finally, cautiously, she did, Amu smiled brighter. "See? Not so bad."

Rima nodded vaguely, staring at her blank canvas. Without a conscious thought, she painted the first line of the fruit bowl. It was just one more step away from the Bad Days.

**WHAT ARE THE BAD DAYS! OMEGOSH! **

**Sorry for yelling! I really like writing this, even though I don't like conflict (and there's a lot of it, sadly ****L), partly because it's a plot I haven't seen on Shugo Chara! fanfics, yet (and that's really all I read). I'm in virgin territory, as far as I know! :D Anyways, the story gets real interesting soon enough, so stay tuned!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Ma-Ma!" Emiko squealed, dropping her toys and launching herself at Rima.

"It's Rima, Emi, _RI_-ma, not '_ma_-ma,'" Rima said gently, picking up the girl and setting her on her hip. Emi grinned, waving at her daycare provider. Rima sighed and smiled vaguely at the woman who watched Emi during the week. "Sorry I'm a little late. My last period teacher held me up."

"It's alright," Sora replied kindly, bending over awkwardly to pick up the toys Emiko had abandoned. She was six months pregnant and already had quite a belly. Then again, she was expecting twins. Rima stared at the bump, remembering when Emiko had still been in her mother's belly and all the preparations that had kept their house busy at all times. Because of that, Rima had more then a little respect for the woman who was watching as many as five kids a day amidst it all. "So, your little Emi's older sister, huh? Such a good big sister you are!"

Rima frowned, glancing down at Emi's golden hair. "I'm not that good of a big sister…" Rima said slowly, not wanting compliments. They reminded her of the Bad Days. Already, boys were proclaiming their love for her and Rima really didn't want kind of attention again. Not after… Jaimie. Rima shuddered, tightening her hold on Emiko, who squealed in protest. "I should probably get going. I have a lot of homework. Thanks for watching Emi."

"Of course!" Sora replied brightly, rousing another of her charges from his nap.

"I want ice cream, Ma-Ma!" Emi announced out in the car, bouncing up and down in her car seat.

"Rima," Rima corrected, mentally mapping out the change in destination. She sighed. "Ice cream it is, cream puff. I guess my homework will have to wait for her majesty's whim."

Emiko giggled, running her fingers over the fabric of her car seat. She had always liked textures. "Yes! Her majy's says so!"

Rima smiled at Emi in her rearview mirror before concentrating completely on the road. After a few minutes, they arrived at Belle's Creamery **(A/N: I don't know if this is real, if it is sorry)**. Rima hadn't been yet, but she had passed it several times while doing errands. The gravel drive crackled under the tires as Rima parked, and after unbuckling Emiko from her seat and setting her on the ground she asked, " So, your majesty, what are you getting?"

"Stwaberry! With choclate spinkles! And whipped cream! And-"

"Ok!" Rima interrupted, fighting against a smile. The two year old, however, grinned up at Rima. "You know what you want. You're only getting a small, though," Rima added sternly. Emi pouted. "No, no, that's not working on me. I _invented_ that look!"

"Rima?" Rima turned and blinked in shock as she saw the boy from her first class behind the window. What was his name? Nagihiko? He smiled, revealing straight white teeth. "Hey."

"Ah, hi…." Rima said cautiously, willing down her blush. Liking boys was a recipe for disaster. That's what Jaimie had taught her. And that's why she didn't like Nagihiko Fujisaki- because she found herself attracted to him. "Give me a sec. I don't know what want, but the little princess has a long list so I'm sure I'll know by the time she finishes."

Nagihiko leaned out from the window, smiling at the shorter version of Rima. "Well, then, princess, what can I get you?"

" A LARGE stwaberry ice cream-"

"Small," Rima interrupted, staring at the list of flavors. Even though Rima was turned away from the girl, she seemed to know Emi stuck her tongue out at her. "Small, or it's going to ruin your supper."

"But Ma-Ma!" Emiko whined.

"Rima." The silence lasted for a moment, then Rima heard a whimper. "Emiko Mashiro. I invented that, too, so you best not be trying to use it on _me_. That's a technique to get something out of mom."

The two year old huffed and looked at the boy behind the window. She grinned up at him. He looked a little confused but he smiled politely. After Emiko finished ordering, Rima ordered a vanilla waffle cone. Nagihiko watched Rima lead her sister to a table. She was a lot different out of school than in- he had three classes with her and while she still had a sort of distance about her he couldn't explain, she seemed a lot more comfortable. Maybe she didn't like being around a lot of people? It would make sense. In one of their classes together, she had revealed to someone that her old schools were a lot smaller than Seiyo High. She may not be used to such a crowd. Deciding to take a break since they weren't very busy (the crowds usually came in after supper), Nagi got himself a small chocolate cone and joined the Mashiro sister's at their table.

Rima glared at Nagihiko, who smiled serenely, taking a lick of his ice cream. "I had some free time," he explained. "I thought I could use this time to get to know you."

"I already told you I don't like you," Rima replied blandly, raising an eyebrow.

Nagi nodded. He remembered, and he was still confused on why, but for some reason he couldn't stay away. Something about her drew him, like a moth to flame. He knew it was dangerous but he couldn't help it. "That may be true, but you know what they say. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. I can be like an uninvolved third party- someone you can go to who won't be expecting anything in return. How's that sound?"

Rima sighed heavily, then took a bite from her cone. She eyed the boy warily who was wearing that serene expression that always seemed to be present. Despite his relaxed position and countenance, he seemed very determined. That wasn't a good quality in a boy, in Rima's opinion. But at the same time she thought that, she also felt she could trust him, an emotion she hadn't felt since Jaimie. Rima sighed again, putting on an annoyed expression. "You're not going to leave me alone if I don't agree to this, are you?"

Nagi smiled pleasantly. "Nope."

"Fine," the blonde groaned. She finished the rest of her ice cream in silence, handing Emiko a napkin to wipe her face before wiping her own hands. Then, she held out her right hand and said with a stern glare, "Just don't hold your breath. I'm not the type to rely on _anyone_."

"I can accept that. As long as you know someone is there for you," he replied, shaking her hand to seal the deal. He noticed with shock that it was shaking.

**I love this story so much, even though there are times when I hate myself for it ****L I find myself so excited to post the next chapter, more so than with any of my other stories. Because of this, it makes me so happy to know that others enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing it!**

**xD Thanks so much to those who reviewed! They made me so happy :D I didn't stop smiling all day, and I'm a pretty stoic person :D (who recently decided she love smilie faces so don't mind my excessive use of them)**

**WiiWrite: Is being a new Rimahiko author a good or bad thing? Rima and Nagi are my favorite characters, so it's only natural they're also my favorite ship. They're just so easy for me to write (usually) :D And I'm sorry! I won't ask questions anymore **

**Alice Bezarius: Thank you so much :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Rima had been in Seiyo High for several months and she was well into the monotonous rhythm of wake up, eat a quick breakfast while feeding Emiko (because Mrs. Mashiro had been leaving earlier for work and staying later, and Mr. Mashiro had had to stay behind when they moved, though he was currently discussing a contract with a company nearby), then bringing Emi to daycare, then school. Rima was late most days first period, but because she was Ms. Song's star pupil, she was often excused. After a week of being late, Ms. Song had told her to just come to class. Attendance wasn't due until the end of class, so no one needed to know. Rima was grateful for that. Any reprieve from the dour Mrs. Goodchild, the receptionist, was a blessing.

Emiko was in a new daycare because Sora's new twins, two boys, were born the month before, but Rima didn't like Linda as much. She was a kind enough woman to the kids, but her personality got on Rima's nerves. Linda didn't like Rima bringing and picking up Emi from daycare. Like Rima cared. They could use all the money they could get thanks to the hospitals bills they were still paying off from the Bad Days. Rima had been in and out of hospitals all the time, and eventually they had had to live paycheck to paycheck. And then Emi had been born, a month early at that, with Rima back in the hospital again. Besides that one incident a half a year ago, the hospital visits had died down completely. Rima was thankful for that. Never again was too soon, in her opinion.

After school, Rima picked up Emiko and on Friday's they got ice cream at Belle's Creamery and sometimes talked to Nagihiko if it was a slow day. Which thankfully wasn't often on a Friday, Rima thought with a small smile. She hated that her walls always fell around that Purple-head. It was too much like Jaimie, and while Nagi was nothing like Him (Rima would never make that comparison lightly), she often found herself resorting to defensive tactics, which often involved insults. A LOT of insults.

"Rima. Rima!"

"H-huh?" Rima asked, blinking out of her thoughts. She turned her head to look to look at the girl who had said her name, Amu Hinamori. The pinkette rolled her eyes, in her "Cool & Spicy" mode since they were in school. Whenever they just hung out, Amu was actually pretty shy.

"You're zoning out. Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," Rima snapped at her best friend. Amu stared at her incredulously. Rima sighed, absently rubbing the scar on her arm. It was a habit she had picked up a while ago, though she couldn't say when. She hadn't even realized she did it until Nagihiko pointed it out one day. "I'm just thinking. Hey, my mom gets out of work early today, so she's going to be picking up Emiko. Do you want to do something? Maybe go shopping?"

"I actually can't," Amu replied apologetically. "I promised Nadeshiko and Yaya I'd see a play with hem. I'd invite you, but the tickets are sold out. I'm sorry!"

"It's fine," Rima said, looking down.

"Maybe Utau-"

"She and I aren't really that good of friends," Rima interrupted, rolling her eyes. "I'll just go shopping alone."

"I can go with you," a voice offered. Rima turned and glared at its owner.

"Expect nothing, remember?" she retorted.

Nagi sighed and put a hand to his heart as though she had hurt it. There was a reason they were Ms. Song's best students. He was pretty convincing. "There are things I need as well," he replied congenially. He lowered his voice and added, "And, there seems to be something wrong, and our deal was you'd come to me for help, remember?"

Rima huffed, crossing her arms. "Fine. You can come, but I'm not promising to tell you anything."

Nagihiko shrugged, smiling serenely. "That's fine. Maybe you just need to be around someone you don't like to realize the rest of your life doesn't suck so bad." As Amu's brows furrowed, Rima let out a startled laugh.

The rest of the day passed kind of slowly. Rima convinced herself that that was because she didn't really want to go shopping with Nagi. Nevertheless, since they had made plans second period, Math, her other six classes crawled on: Art, Literature, P.E. lunch, Modern World History, Anatomy, and Debate. She was really good in Debate. She had the class with Nagihiko and they were usually on different sides of the argument- if both were in class, neither side won.

When the bell rang at the end of the day, Rima dragged her feet but Nagi didn't seem to care, allowing her to waste as much time as she wanted. By the time they took a break around supper time, Rima felt much more comfortable around him- more so than then all those Fridays combined had added up to. Rima got a coke and medium fries. Nagihiko just ordered a water and led Rima to an empty table. Rima was laughing at some stupid comment he had made when he suddenly grew serious. Always one to react to other people's emotions, Rima frowned at the boy she would've considered a friend, if she trusted boys.

"What?" Rima snapped, getting defensive. Nagi shook his head.

"No, we aren't playing that game. You were upset earlier. Tell me what's wrong."

Rima growled in frustration, angrily ripping a fry in half. "It's just Emiko's new babysitter. I don't like her- correction, she doesn't like _me_, so I don't like her."

Nagihiko frowned, tilting his head to the side and studying the blonde teen. She always had a different tone when she spoke about Emiko. Rima had come and talked to him about little things before- a test she didn't think she did well on, little things like that just to vent. Nagi shook his head. He was probably imagining it. "So, you what you're saying is that you want a new babysitter for your sister?" he asked.

Rima hesitated, then nodded slowly.

"I don't think that's your decision."

"It is my decision," she snapped back with her infamous death glare. Then she paused and released a breath, her hand going up to her scar. "What I mean is, I'm the one who picks her up and drops her off everyday, you know? I shouldn't have to deal with that, and I wouldn't want my sister in that kind of environment, either."

Nagihiko nodded, resting his cheek in his hand. "I understand. I have a solution, too, but it means you'll have to see more of me," he added with a toothy grin.

"What's your solution?" Rima asked warily.

"My mother used to really like taking kids in, but she got sick a few years ago and hasn't started up her business again. I'm sure she'd love to watch Emiko for you."

Rima turned her head away, staring blankly at the wall for a few minutes before nodding slowly. "That could work. I really liked Sora, but she probably won't be taking kids in again for a few years- at least not until Emi's in preschool, so we won't need her." Rima looked back at Nagi and smiled shyly. "Could you ask for me?"

"No problem," Nagi replied kindly, his smile growing wider when Rima suddenly blushed. She growled at him in frustration and threw half of her mangled French fry at him. They were both soon laughing again, the tension dispelled, and for that, Rima was grateful. Even though she was getting dangerously close to Jaimie territory with her feelings for Nagihiko, she felt safer around him then she had around any boy- or person, for that matter- since the Bad Days. Rima wondered if she just might be able to let Nagi in, past her cold outer barrier.

**My favorite song right now is "Oh Mom" by T.O.P.. I think the English lyrics would make a good song-fic… not that I know how to do that or who would star. I just wanted to say that. It's a REALLY good song, once you get into it. SO GO LISTEN TO IT (you don't really have to).**

**OK, so after my shameless promotion of Big Bang and it's members, on to reviews :D**

**Blueberryfan10: :D Thank you for staying long enough to see it wasn't as unoriginal as it originally looks (xP). **

**WiiWrite: Ohmegosh, I totally see. You're **_**RIGHT,**_** the questions look so much better in the reviews (lol). And thank you ^^ I hope I don't disappoint with where things go (even if, like I mentioned last chapter, I hate myself for it -_- ).**

**OK, so currently I'm suffering from writer's block… and I was wondering if you want other couples to get airtime. It's totally fine if you don't, just that this decision dictates how I continue. I don't want to put them in if ya'll want this to be just Rimahiko. It's up to you, my lovely readers TT^TT **


	5. Chapter 5

***WARNING, WARNING* There are swears and suggestive content in this chapter, so be prepared.**

**Chapter 5**

Amu Hinamori growled in frustration, throwing a mismatched boot at the wall behind her. She was supposed to meet Rima, Utau, Yaya, and Nadeshiko at the park in ten minutes, but she couldn't seem to find any shoes. "Ami! Have you been in my room again?" she shouted, sitting back on her heels. Suddenly feeling dizzy, Amu let herself fall back on her butt, putting a hand to her quavering stomach. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly. "Fuck," Amu groaned, trying to fight against her gag reflex.

Ami peeked around the side of the door, expecting a lone shoe to be thrown at her. That's what usually happened when Amu's shoes went missing. It wasn't like it was Ami's fault her dog, Mei, liked left shoes! Instead, what she saw was Amu bent over, taking deep breaths and looking green. "Big sister! Are you okay?" Ami exclaimed, rushing over to her older sister. Amu shook her head and just when Ami started to panic, Amu cleared her throat, swallowing convulsively.

"I'm fine, Ami. Can you get me one of my shoes from your devil dog? I'm supposed to meet my friends at the park in…." Amu glanced at the clock and corrected herself. "_Was_ supposed to meet them five minutes ago."

"You're really sick," the eight year old said nervously, looking at Amu's door like she was going to call for their parents.

"Just get me a shoe," Amu replied, releasing a shaky breath and standing up. "I don't even care which one right now." As soon as Ami left the room, Amu dashed into the bathroom, closing and locking the door clumsily behind her. She was at the porcelain bowl in a moment, retching up her breakfast. Tears streaming down her cheeks, Amu wished she hadn't been so stupid the other month at that party.

"_Come on!" Yaya demanded, forcefully dragging Amu off her couch. "Nade's expecting us in one hour!~"_

"_I don't want to go," Amu groaned, sending Rima a pleading glance. The new girl in their group just stared back blankly, raising an eyebrow at her new friends. "Oh, You're no help!" Amu cried, trying to stop Yaya's determined game of Tug O' War on her arm._

"_Yaya and Rima are going to make you pretty, and have all the boys in love with you. Except Kairi," Yaya added firmly, glancing back at the pinkette as she dragged her up the stairs. "Maybe Nagi!" Rima twitched but nodded in agreement._

"_I don't want Kairi or Nagihiko," Amu said stubbornly, rubbing her wrist when Yaya finally let her go._

_² _

_A few hours later the girls met up with Nadeshiko Fujisaki and Utau Hoshina at Utau's house._

"_About time," Utau said arrogantly, turning sharply on her heel so her long blonde hair swirled around her. Her leather pants and silk top shone in the dim light- music was playing loudly inside the building, but no lights escaped from the curtained windows so they were illuminated only from the porch light._

_Nadeshiko smiled politely, hugging Amu and Yaya and tilting her head in welcome to Rima. Rima blinked at her. "You're as polite as your brother. It's annoying."_

_Nadeshiko's smile broadened and she tilted her head to Utau. "I've heard that before."_

_Amu sighed, adjusting the studded bracelet on her left wrist. Normally she wouldn't mind being dragged to one of Utau's parties - her brother, Ikuto, supplied enough booze to get a herd of elephants drunk _(**Stupid analogy xD)**_,__and besides, he kind of liked her, and not in the way the fan boys at school _claimed_ to like her. But she was tired, and felt like today was just a day to stay at home. Nothing good could come out of this…._

**A few hours and beers later**

_Amu listed on her feet, feeling disoriented. What time was it? She needed to get home…. God, she was so wasted. Amu giggled, not paying attention to where she was going. When she ran into someone, Amu reared back, barely staying on her feet. "Tadase!" she slurred, narrowing her eyes to around her beer haze. The princely male smiled drunkenly at her, pushing a strand of hair out of his eyes. "Where's Nade?"_

_Tadase shook his head, grin widening. "Don' know…. Hey, hey, guess what?"_

"_What?" Amu giggled, not seeing anything wrong with him getting closer to her when she was so smashed. When he kissed her, Amu returned it, wrapping her arms around his neck. In a few minutes they found themselves naked in one of Utau's spare bedrooms, sweaty bodies moving against each other…._

Amu groaned, wiping a hand against her forehead and flushing the toilet with the other. It was bad enough she pregnant at 17. But how was she going to tell Nadeshiko the father of the baby was _her _boyfriend?

²

Nadeshiko grinned at the text message from Tadase, quickly typing up a reply as she waited for Amu to arrive. She was 20 minutes late, but Rima had just gotten a text message saying Amu was on her way- Mei had stolen all her left shoes again. She had also said she had something important to tell them all.

**To: Tadase**

**Love you, too.**

Nadeshiko sighed happily, pushing send. She was glad their relationship was finally back to normal. For a little while after the party a couple months ago, Tadase had been acting strangely. _But they were finally back to normal_, Nadeshiko repeated to herself nervously.

"Amu~" Yaya suddenly exclaimed, bouncing up from her spot on the bench. Nadeshiko looked up, eyes widening at how pale the pinkette looked. Amu smiled weakly, plopping down where Yaya had vacated.

"Oh, God, Amu…." Rima said softly.

Amu looked down and took a deep breath, putting a hand to her lower belly. Nadeshiko brows furrowed, then she shook her head, sure she was interpreting things wrong. "Guys…. There's something I need to tell you. No one else knows yet. The other day, I took a pregnancy test…"

"Don't say it," Nade pleaded.

"… and it was positive. I'm pregnant."

"Oh, God, Amu," Rima repeated, hugging her.

"Who's the father? It's Ikuto right?" Nadeshiko with a fragile smile. He was a lot older, but that was preferable to the alternative sitting heavily in Nade's gut. "Ikuto's the father. Right?"

Amu hesitated, then shook her head. She returned Rima's hug, needing the -surprising- comfort she was offering to say what needed to be said. "It's Tadase. Tadase's the father."

Nadeshiko broke down, tears falling down her cheeks in waves. Yaya stared at them in shock, mouth open wide. _I knew it wasn't alright, _Nade thought bitterly. "How could you?" she asked coldly.

"I'm sorry!" Amu pleaded. "I was drunk. _We_ were drunk. We didn't know what were doing…!"

"That's no excuse!" Nadeshiko snapped, wrapping her arms around herself as she stood up. "And now your _pregnant_! God, your _seventeen_."

"Shut up."

Nadeshiko blinked in shock at the short blonde who was suddenly in her face. She rarely ever spoke, except to insult Nagi or tell a joke in deadpan. "Excuse me?" she asked incredulously, returning the glare with one of her own.

"I said, 'shut up.' Did you hear me that time?" Rima snapped, her short stature in no way decreasing her intimidation level.

"Why the hell should I?" Nadeshiko replied icily, too distraught to care she had swore. "She's pregnant. At seventeen. _After sleeping with someone else's boyfriend!_"

"Just shut the _fuck_ up, or I swear to God, I will make you. _You're _not the one pregnant. _You_ don't know what it's like to be a teen mom."

"Oh, and you do?" Nade laughed humorlessly. "Is that what you're saying?"

"What I'm saying, is shut the fuck up," Rima repeated, turning her back on the taller girl and helping Amu up. "We're all shocked and your confused and angry. We need a chance to breath. How about we take a break before something is said that one of us really regrets?" With that, Rima led a distraught Amu away from a still dumbstruck Yaya and a seething Nadeshiko.

Nade ran a hand down her face and released a sad sigh, realizing Rima was right. She already regretted how she had acted and what she had said. Imagine if Rima hadn't intervened when she did…. Nadeshiko's phone beeped, signaling a text. Nade glanced down at her shaking fingers before pulling out her phone from her purse.

**From: Tadase**

**I mis U alredy**

Nadeshiko blinked back tears, her thumb hovering over the delete button. Would Amu tell him she was having his baby? Would she tell him how Nade had reacted? Closing her eyes, Nadeshiko pushed down with her thumb, flinching at the beeping noise signaling the message had been deleted. Whatever happened, Nade didn't think she could trust him anymore. He hadn't even told her he'd cheated on her.

**Don't hate me! When I started this chapter, that's how it came out and then it all just kind of flowed well together. But there's drama~ something I'm not usually good at writing, so I'm proud of this chapter ^^ **

**And I have a good reason for the late-ish update! I do! My step-sister got married on Saturday, and the whole of the week before that I couldn't get to library because of last minute preparations! But it was such a beautiful wedding~ like a faerie tale! All gossamer, and lights and flowers, and everything! It inspired a new one-shot from me, "Nippon no Kekkonshiki" (which I hope means what I want it to mean), so look for that if you want to read a Rimahiko wedding! Anyway~**

**Nobody answered if you want other couples in this, or if you want just Rimahiko. If no body answered, I don't want to go either way. So I'm stuck! TT^TT So please tell me your opinion!**

**Reviews~**

**Ama-Marie-Hinamori-Sohma: Thank you for lik-ing my story (lol, sorry, but that makes me think "lick" rather than "like" lol). So thanks for licking my story o.O And I'll try to make it funnier, but I'm more of a deadpan girl myself, so we'll see how it goes.**

**WiiWrite: Def sexier. And I won't discontinue a story ever, even if I have to force it out (but hopefully it won't come to that ;) ). Was the last chapter really interesting? While it was important, it kind of felt like filler to me, so thanks ^^ And I've been revived! You're magick! (spell-check kept correcting me on that word- I spelt it that way for a REASON spell-check!) And thank you!**

**I start school on Wednesday, but I hope that won't impede on my updates. The good news? I've got a creative writing class this semester, so hopefully it will help my writing where I need it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

_Pregnant,_ Rima thought idly, rubbing her scar. Rima wouldn't wish teen pregnancy on anyone. Someone very close to Rima had been a teen mom and it wasn't something to be taken lightly. Sighing, Rima picked up some stray cheerios Emiko had dropped onto the floor. The aforementioned two year old was too busy throwing a fit over the gods know what to make the effort and Rima was too tired to fight with her. Maybe Mrs. Fujisaki would take Emi off her hands…. Rima smiled ruefully at that, sliding her phone open and closed as she debated that course of action. Rima didn't have any previous experience with the terrible twos.

Rima shook her head, deciding against it. Emi might like her new babysitter, but Rima didn't think even she could stop the tantrum if Emi wasn't ready to stop. The blonde grinned suddenly, flipping closed her phone and typing a number. Mrs. Fujisaki, no. But _Nagihiko_ Fujisaki? That was someone she didn't mind involving.

When Nagi arrived half an hour later, Rima had finally calmed Emiko down enough and got her quietly watching TV. Nagihiko rose an eyebrow. "Looks like you handled her just fine," he commented with a little smile. Rima rolled her eyes.

"I know how to handle my sister," Rima said sarcastically, patting the couch to indicate he could sit down. "I'm just tired. I was at Amu's all night, helping her tell her parents. Afterwards, she didn't want to be alone. I'm so tired~" she moaned.

"So basically, you didn't call me for my experience with children from helping my mother. You just wanted me to baby-sit your sister so you could sleep?"

Rima nodded unabashedly. "Yup."

Nagihiko sighed, running a hand through his hair. He didn't know how long he could stay- when his twin had found out where he was going, she had tried to stop him. Nade was not happy with Rima at all at the moment.

"Ma-Ma! I'm hungry!" Emi suddenly announced, twisting around to look up at Rima. "Feed now!"

"Fine, fine, you devil child," Rima groaned, hefting herself off the couch. "I'll feed the beast but just wait until mom gets home and hears about your little tantrum earlier."

Emi pouted, eyes tearing up. When Rima said, "Not going to work on me," Emiko turned her attention to Nagi, pouring on the waterworks. Nagi grinned and shook his head, ruffling her hair. "Sorry, kid."

"No fun!" Emi whined, getting up and chasing after Rima as she tried to make supper. Watching how Rima reacted to her antics, Nagi was struck by a sudden thought that just didn't make sense.

Half an hour later, Rima shouted, "Soup's on!" to which Emiko came bursting out of her room, where she had holed herself up in ten minutes prior when Rima had lost her temper. Nagi joined them at the table, glancing back and forth between the blondes. Rima glared at him, and asked irritably, "What?"

Nagi blinked, and eventually, cautiously, asked, "Is Emiko your daughter?"

Rima's eyes widened and she opened her mouth, at a loss for a words.

_ ² _

At one time, Yaya had been the youngest in their group. When her little brother, Tsubasa, was born, Yaya had found solace in that fact. And then Kairi Sanjo had befriended Amu, who seemed to be able to make anyone like her. For a while, Yaya had been depressed about that- she wasn't the youngest anymore. She had gotten over that eventually. Even though Kairi was a year younger than her, he acted much older, so she was still the baby.

Now a _real _baby was worming its way into their group of friends. Yaya was being selfish, she could admit that at least, but she couldn't help feeling depressed. She didn't want to be depressed. Being the "baby" was all she had. Yaya blinked, angrily wiping away tears. What she needed was someone to talk to. But Nadeshiko didn't want to talk to anyone, and Rima was unreachable. Amu was part of the problem, and Utau, who had arrived at the park just after Amu had left, was too angry at Amu to help Yaya.

Yaya looked down at her pink and white cell phone, rubbing a finger over the bejeweled pattern of a bunny. There was someone else Yaya could go to, but everyone knew he loved Amu. He might not feel like babying Yaya. Not after she told him why she was so upset. Yaya sighed, reaching over for a cookie from the plate one the coffee table. Out of nowhere, Yaya punched the couch cushions with her fists.

Dialing fast, before she could change her mind, Yaya called Kairi, holding her breath as her phone rang.

"Hello?" Yaya's breath caught and she closed her eyes, cradling the phone to her ear. She loved the sound of his voice. She loved how he sounded so smart all the time. She loved how he always knew just what to say to make her feel better. She loved _him_. But he only had eyes for Amu. "Yaya?"

"Kairi~" Yaya replied with forced cheer, pasting a fake smile on her face even though he couldn't see her. "Yaya needs someone to talk to," she pouted.

"Ah, of course," Kairi said, sounding confused.

"Yay~" Yaya cheered, for his benefit because she suddenly felt more depressed than she had before she called. "Meet Yaya at her house!"

**Le Gasp!~ **

**Reviews~ (I've gotta stop using tildes….)**

**Ama Sohma Mashiro Fujisaki: I'm sorry… no Tadamu, as far as I know so far… I mean, they will probably have moments (for obvious reasons), but it's Amuto…. And I don't know what you mean by "And Nade…" Her reaction? We all know Nadeshiko has a bloodthirsty side. But there's a good reason for how she reacted- even if she went about it the wrong way…. Anyway, I have three OC's so far (including Jaimie and Emiko). I hope that satisfies you…. D:**

**Although, I'll admit this here for the first time out loud: I think I kind of like Tadase now…. I was reading DearS (by Peach-Pit), and I decided I really like Khi, who made me think of Tadase, so there you have it…. Not a good consolation prize, though. Sorry….**

**So anyway, I've decided to TRY at other couples, and have the groundwork for Amuto (as mentioned above)(and this is already set up, so when it gets there don't think I'm just pulling stuff out my- ah… you get the point). It may be the only OTHER, if I can't figure out how to incorporate the others or if people start saying "only Rimahiko!" **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Nagi blinked, debating, and eventually, cautiously, asked, "Is Emiko your daughter?"_

_Rima's eyes widened and she opened her mouth, at a loss for words._

"W-what?" Rima demanded, glaring at Nagihiko. "What the hell made you think something like that?"

Nagi tilted his head, watching Rima through narrowed eyes. Her face was flushed and her eyes were darting around. His own widened. "She is, isn't she? It would make sense- the way you act around her, why you reacted the way you did to Nade, and Amu's news- you're a teen mom yourself!"

Rima glared harder at Nagihiko, trying to ignore Emi's wide-eye stare. "You _had_ to ask me that now? I can't very well deny my daughter right in front of her! Damn it all," she groaned, putting her head in hands. "You can't tell anyone. Please."

The force of Rima's sudden stare nearly had Nagi reeling back. She looked so scared, an emotion he hadn't seen on her before. And the earnestness in that one word, please, was something he had never heard _anyone_ utter before. "Can you at least tell me why its so important no one know? Are you ashamed of her?" Nagi asked, finding himself angry at the thought.

"God, no," Rima growled, rubbing her scar angrily. "Emi's the only thing in my life that's gone right. The problem is, her father wants her and I can't let that happen." Rima paused, pushing the golden hair out of her daughter's eyes. God, daughter. It felt strange to think that. "I still remember the day I found out. I was in the hospital- the last time before I moved. The doctor came in, looking anxious. I was a little delirious on pain meds, so I didn't think much of it, but then she asked my mom to leave….

"You have to remember, I was only fourteen at the time," Rima added, pulling her legs onto her chair and curling into a ball. "I didn't react very well. Even though I was pretty stoned from the drugs they gave me, I flipped. I tore out all the things they'd hooked me up to and screamed at the top of my lungs, until my throat was raw. I was pregnant, one month, nearly the whole time of which I had been in that hospital bed…. When I finally calmed down, I told that doctor-she was one of my favorites- something I never told anyone before or since. By then, it was too late to do anything about it…."

Nagi smiled wanly, not liking where she was going. He almost told her to stop- he didn't want to hear anymore. But now that she had started talking, he couldn't stop her. This was something she had never told anyone before, and may never work up the courage to say again. And hadn't he promised he'd be there for her if she ever needed someone to talk to? Tears sprang in Rima's eyes and she wrapped her arms around herself. She took a deep breath, like she was trying to calm herself, but the tears kept gathering on her lashes.

"Rima…." Nagi said brokenly, feeling the need to comfort her. Who cared if he never knew. He got the gist of it, knew it was something physically painful to Rima. "You don't need to continue…. I won't tell anyone…."

Rima shook her head, straightening to wipe at her tears in vain. "I have to say this," the blonde hiccupped, tightening her arms around her knees. Emi made a sound of distress, clambering out of her booster seat and wrapping her arms around her mother. "I was fourteen. Young and stupid. A freshman in high school who had garnered the attention of a junior. How lucky I was!" she mocked herself, pulling Emi onto her lap. "We were… dating for a while. I wasn't ready to be intimate, but Jaimie… he was several years older than me and _more_ than ready-"

"Do not say it," Nagi demanded, face pale. He didn't want to hear anymore. He swore to God, he would hunt that boy down and-

"One day he asked me to come over. I was a little wary- I knew his parents weren't going to be home. But I went, and everything was okay for a while. We watched a movie that had just come out on DVD, ordered pizza. But then-" Rima paused, closing her eyes tight, hugging Emi close to her. "He started getting touchy. I told him to stop, but he wouldn't, and then he… he…."

"It's okay Rima. You don't have to say anymore," Nagihiko told her woodenly. And then Rima, stoic Rima Mashiro, broke down crying, clutching her daughter to her chest as she sobbed in a way she had not since the night the girl was conceived.

**RIMA-CHAN! SHE`S GOING TO CRAWL OUT OF MY MANGA AND KILL ME IN MY SLEEP! I'm a dead woman! I'm SO SORRRRRYY Rima-CHAN! *WAILS***

**Now that my (outward) freak out is over (*whimpers*), I'm going to apologize, as I always will, for the short chapter. I tried making it longer, but the power of the chapter becomes diminished when I try putting more in….**

**Reviews:**

**Yours Truly98: My new best friend :`( Yup, it's true... Emi's Rima's. And no worries, you can Yaya-moment all you want ^^ (That goes for everyone. It's fun!)**

**Ama Sohma Mashiro Fujisaki: That's what I meant. I know she was OOC. But like I said, Nade has her reasons…. **

**Don't bash me for this chapter, okay? D':**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Amu looked down at her phone, rubbing her belly idly. Only Yaya and Rima were still on speaking terms with her but neither seemed to be reachable. Nadeshiko was, rightfully so, still angry with Amu, though the hateful words from the first day had evolved into a cold shoulder. Amu almost didn't know which was worse, but she'd have to say it was the silence. Amu much preferred Nade to be yelling at her than having no idea what she was thinking. Kukai and Tadase were the only boys who didn't know. They could tell something was up by the sudden mood change surrounding the girls, but Amu wasn't ready to tell Tadase and no one had thought to tell Kukai. Nagi knew because of Nadeshiko, most likely. Or maybe Rima. The two seemed pretty close. Ikuto obviously knew because of Utau, and Kairi had learned from Yaya. He had called Amu as soon as he found out. Yaya had seemed a little out of it the next day but was soon back to her normal chipper self.

Amu glanced down at the phone vibrating in her hand, sliding it open to read the text.

**From: Rima**

**I'll go. But I need to bring Emi because my mom's working.**

Amu read the text, feeling slightly lighter. She had her first doctor's appointment, and she really didn't want to go alone.

**To: Rima**

**Thas k meet me here.**

**From: Rima**

**Fifteen minutes**

Amu smiled fondly, glad she had a friend like Rima. She had been the most supportive since she found out, even going so far as to stay the night when Amu had told her parents. It was a little surprising to find the comfort she needed from Rima, who was someone who always seemed so closed off from everyone else. Then again, Amu had her own outer character so she knew what it was like to hide behind one

²

_After a half an hour of crying, Rima took a deep breath and released, willing her muscles to relax. She released her death grip on Emiko next, but the two year old stayed where she was, tears streaming down her own face in response to seeing her mother cry. Rima laughed shakily, avoiding eye contact with a pale Nagihiko, and wiped Emi's tears away with trembling fingers. "Sorry about that," she said after a while, staring at her cold food with a blank expression. She felt numb inside. How would Nagihiko treat her now that he knew? Not even her own mother knew. Rima knew that people treated rape victims differently than other people. She didn't want that, for people to tip-toe around her like a fragile little girl. She wasn't a little girl. She was a mother who had been through Hell because of Jaimie, and she didn't want that bastard to affect her any more than he already did. Her aversion to people, males especially, was enough of a price to pay for her stupidity regarding him. When Rima looked up, Nagihiko had this evil little smile on his face, his eyes full of vengeance. Rima flinched, confused by his reaction._

"_What's that look for?" Rima asked nervously._

"_Oh, no particular reason," he replied unconvincingly. "Just that if I ever find this kid… no on ever will again."_

_Rima sweat dropped, setting Emiko on the floor and picking up their plates to busy herself. As she was heating up Emi's she said, "I've heard you had an evil side, but I've never seen it before now."_

"_All your sides are evil," Nagi quipped. Rima's eyes widened, but she soon a huge smiled spread across her face. He wasn't treating her any different than he had before he knew, like he knew she wouldn't appreciate special treatment. It was amazing how well he knew her after only a few months. She was still smiling slightly when she brought the now warm food back to the table. Rima paused when she noticed Emiko was sitting in his lap, looking for all the world like she belonged there. Like the male who both infuriated and made Rima smile in a way she hadn't since before the Bad Days was her true father. Rima's small smile faltered. When had her feelings changed? When had Rima stopped looking at him like a boy who couldn't be trusted, to a friend she trusted enough to be around her daughter?_

²

Rima sighed heavily, parking her car in front of Amu's house. Nagihiko had found out her secret a little over a week ago and so far he had kept his promise and told no one, not even his twin. Why did that stupid Purple-head have to be so damn trustworthy? Not that she wanted him to tell. There was a reason she and her mother had decided to let people believe Emi was Rima's sister. Jaimie knew how much Rima loved Emiko and that she would never denounce her. His twisted sense of security when it came to Rima and his understanding of her would be his downfall, Rima was sure of it. If she was careful, the Bad Days wouldn't find her again. Not when she was finally enjoying life again.

"Rima!" Amu called from her front door. "You've been out there for fifteen minutes. You coming in?"

Rima groaned and got out of the car. Finding Emiko already unbuckled, she felt slightly panicked. When had Emi learned to do that? Oh, God, how long had she been unbuckled? What if they had gotten into an accident? "Emiko," she said shakily, picking her up. "Don't do that. If mommy buckles you in, you stay that way until she gets you, got?" _God, I'm such a mess_, Rima thought as she and Emi walked the distance from the car to Amu's house.

"Thank you so much for coming, Rima," Amu gushed high-fiving Emiko.

"It's no problem. I had to go to a lot of these before Emi was born," Rima replied, having stifled her errant panic, telling one of her half truths. While she meant _she_ personally had had to go to the appointments, people automatically assumed she had had to go with her mother, so she rarely needed to tell a lie unless she actually had to say the word 'sister.' "They're not so bad, Amu. Don't worry. I'm here for you." the last part was forced. The showing of emotions wasn't something she was used to, and the comforting of anyone not Emiko was something she had even less experience with.

Amu stayed quiet for a while, watching Emi play with Mei, Ami's dog. "I hope I have a daughter like Emiko," she said after a while. "She's so full of life. I just wish my baby had been made from love, like her, instead of a drunken haze."

Rima laughed nervously. "Y-yeah," she stammered. Rima had a bitter moment, thinking darkly, _At least _your_ kid's conception involved pleasure. _She shook that off, though. The Bad Days were gone and things were looking up. She had friends, and was even starting to trust boys again because of Nagihiko. What happened in the past needed to stay there.

**Another chapter~ **

**Reviews~**

**Yours Truly98: I don't think its really a bad thing- I mean, ignoring the fact she was a mom at 14 D: And I thought I made it pretty obvious. Rima's a strong person, but even she'd have difficulty telling someone she was raped, so I wrote the scene so it wasn't actually said but implied. *dead* (OTL) **- **She got me D: And you can keep your Yaya moments `^` they're so cute lol~ I'm not that amazing though. My writing has so many faults…. But thanks for the complement anyway :D (I'm still on a smiley face kick- I recently found a website with Korean smiley faces and it renewed the excessive use….)**

**Ripplerose: *evil Nagi smile* I'm gonna so much fun with that chapter. Even as a pacifist, people like that, even if its just fiction, need to be taught a lesson about picking on weaker people…. And even though Nagi's kinda feminine, I think he can kick Jaimie's ass :P Thank you for the compliment :D**

**Moniquetotall: Yeah, but I hope it wasn't too obvious? Rima loves her daughter, and a two-year old wouldn't really get that her mom had to pretend not to be, I think…. So it had to be to be more than just subtle even though I didn't want a big reveal right away….**

**xXx The Joker of a Writer xXx: I'm over observant too…. -_-; So its fine you saw what my horrible secret before it was time :D And thanks, but sometimes I feel like I'm too over the place with this story- like the Yaya/Kairi conversation hasn't really been discussed yet, yet it will someday~ I hope it's not to confusing, though? No worries, though~ still a lot of bombs left… though maybe not for you? We'll have to see when the chapter goes up that sets up that part of the plot line. And Peach-Pit are (is?) such pervert(s) so they're good for that :P I love Khi. I don't know why D: Just one day it was like, Khi is AWESOME. **-** literally. It happened like that! Hmm… actually I never thought of that :O What kind of Khi fan AM I? -_-a And I read it! It was good! Rozen Maiden-ish….**

**Holy Beelzenef! (**- **Ouran fans :P yep, I literally say that in RL -_-) LONG reviews. But I love them TT^TT**

**An-nyong-hi gye-se-yo! (Is that right, or would I use an-nyong-hi ga-se-yo? **- **Probably that. Ya'll are the one's leaving….)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Nadeshiko tilted her head back, studying the upside-down image of her twin brother with expressionless eyes. Nagihiko ignored her scrutiny, his own eyes moving back and forth as he contemplated the orange blur spinning on his finger. Nade noticed with a touch of concern that he still seemed distant- distracted. The depression she had been teetering on fell to the wayside upon seeing such an expression as the one her other half, her twin, was sporting.

Nade twisted around on the couch, her thin baby tee riding up around her waist as she settled in a kneeling position, her arms crossed over the back of the couch. Nagi let the ball stop, catching it as it fell from its precarious perch. He tilted his head in question, raising a brow at his twin. Nade sighed, plopping her chin against her arms.

"You're upset about Mashiro, aren't you?" she commented, bitterness creeping into her normally cheerful voice. She had never called someone by their last name, besides teachers, but the fact was that while her emotions were finally evening out after the initial shock of Amu's announcement and the reveal of Tadase's infidelity, she was still angry. Nadeshiko didn't think she had ever stayed angry so long in her life, but it was true just the same. But Nade didn't want to think about that right then. What she wanted to focus on was someone else- she had spent enough time wallowing in self pity.

Nagihiko laughed, but there was no humor in it. Dropping heavily into the computer chair behind him, he ran a hand through his purple hair, the one so similar to Nadeshiko's. "You could say that," he replied bitterly, pulling at the violet locks.

Nadeshiko sat up straighter, narrowing her eyes at Nagi. "What did… she do?" she asked, slightly frustrated that her upbringing denied her the ability to call her what she wanted to. Nade didn't even know why she was so angry with Rima, which only added to the frustration. The girl had only been protecting Amu, the same Nadeshiko herself would have done if her once-best friend had been pregnant with anyone else's baby.

"She didn't _do_ anything," Nagi informed her, staring down at the residual chalk dust on his basketball, his hand moving, as though he were in a trance, to rub it off. He glanced up only when he seemed satisfied with his work, his stare deadly serious. "To me or you. Why are you so angry with her?"

"I don't really know," Nade said slowly after a moment of thought. She twisted back around so she wouldn't have to look at her twin. She let her head fall back, eyes squeezed tight. "It's just that she, and even Yaya, didn't seem to _care_ that I might be hurting too."

Nagihiko sighed, setting his basketball on his backpack. As Nadeshiko stayed quiet, seemingly to think out what else she wanted to say, Nagi got up and took a seat across from the couch Nade sat on. After a few minutes of silence, Nagihiko noticed tears streaming down her cheeks. Opening teary ochre eyes, Nade trained her gaze straight on her twin, somehow knowing he had moved even though his steps were as quiet as her own graceful footing. A twisted smile darkened her face as she leaned forward, resting her forearms on her pajama'd legs. "Do you want to now what my problem with her is?" Nadeshiko asked, her long fingers curling into fists. "She walks around like she owns the world. She doesn't even know what its like to suffer, but its like she thinks she's earned the right to judge everyone. Because what? Her parents have good jobs? Because she's beautiful? God, what a hard life!"

Nadeshiko looked up and flinched back into the couch cushion, the hard glare hitting her almost physically. Her twin rose, his height impressive even though they were the same.

"You don't know anything about her," he snapped, taking a deep breath to reign in his temper. It wasn't Nadeshiko's fault. She was still upset over everything that had happened to her in her short life, some things that ran so deep they'd never go away. The fact that on a normal day she was such a loving, kind soul, when compared to the strikes it had taken, should have more than made up for the simple outburst that only been made because of her concern for her twin. But it didn't.

"Oh, and _you_ do?" Nadeshiko volleyed, standing up to meet his height. "You've barely even spoken to her in all the time she's lived here, and yet all of a sudden, you know _everything_ about her?"

Nagi's jaw worked, his eyelids shielding his feelings from her. His voice cracked when he spoke again, the emotions he had bottled up for years too strong to hold back. "I know the real reason you're so angry with Rima. It's not how she behaves every day, but what she did that one day. But do you want to know what I think?" Nagi added, opening his eyes as he repeated her question, pinning her to the spot. "You're letting the past control your future, when we've all, mother and I, moved on even though we still bear the pain, and always will. The question is, will you ever accept that the choices you made were the right ones?"

**Nade, Nade-chan…. I want to apologize for how cruel I've made her in the few scenes I've written of her, but I hope this chapter helps explain a little on her behavior even if it barely scratches the surface. She may come off as selfish, and mean-hearted, but that isn't who she is, as we all know. She's just hurting real bad over… everything. -/|\- So, I apologize and hope you will give me the chance to explain my reasoning in the future. In addition, when the "choices" things gets cleared, please be aware, I hesitated greatly and got a lot of second opinions. It almost didn't happen, but this is the way of it.**

**Reviews:**

**Yours Truly98: Your always so kind to me TT^TT I don't think Amu is going to have twins, though. I take so many liberties already with this story, I don't think I should just decide to give her twins. They're very rare, unless its in your family (like mine) or you're on fertility pills, which, why would Amu be on fertility pills at 17? And, as far as Peach-pit shows us, there are no twins in either of the parents-to-be's families. It would be though. I can picture it. Maybe I'll try a one-shot or something someday, when I can afford the liberty. And not the girly one? :O And here you all, Yaya-y (:P). I'm not the girly one in my family, either (I have three younger sisters :O) but I suppose I get hyper too, so I understand xD If you could have a nickname what would be? All I can think of is Tru-chan…. You review so regularly, you deserve one TT^TT**

**xXx The Joker of a Writer xXx (Joker-chan): Woww…. So many theories. But are any right? :P**

**** Any comedians present? I'm thinking of doing a collab with one or more people for a new fan fiction. If your interested, feel free to PM for details. It's a comedy, since I have none of those.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

"When's the last time you had your period?"

Rima noted with amusement that the shade of red gracing Amu's cheeks was one she had yet to see.

"The date was somewhere between July 11 and the twenty-first," Rima spoke up, because Amu was sputtering unintelligible sounds. Rima tilted her head. "Right? It was a little over a week after Nagihiko's birthday?"

Amu nodded dumbly, shamed Rima was handling this better than she was. "Right. It was between that that I had sex- and, well…." Amu blushed harder, and glanced at Rima guiltily. "About two weeks before that, but I don't think I got pregnant that time."

"Wait, wait," Rima interrupted, glaring at Amu as she moved her hands to cover Emiko's ears. "Are saying Tadase didn't take your virginity?" "Ah…." Amu blinked, trying to ignore Rima and the doctor's scrutiny. 'Well, no-"

"So was it Ikuto? Ikuto _could_ be the father? After you told Nade he wasn't?"

"We used a condom!" Amu sputtered, her hands fluttering nervously.

"That doesn't mean anything!" Rima snapped, pressing two fingers to her temple. Blanking out her expression, Rima released a sigh.

"No, indeed," Dr. Raj commented, raising a thin brow at the teens. "Given the details., and the fact you don't know when your last period was, we'll have to say somewhere between the dates you gave me so…" the woman paused, glancing upwards as she thought. "That would put your due date at approximately April first."

"Apwil fools!" Emiko suddenly shouted gleefully, shattering the silence in the office. The doctor smiled at the toddler.

"Exactly!" she praised, returning the girl's smile.

"To bad this whole things isn't a prank," Amu muttered, her hands resting absently on her still flat stomach. Rima looked away then, hugging Emiko to herself. She had thought the same thing when she first found out about Emi.

"My birfday is in Apwil too! The twen- twenty first!" Emiko announced proudly, patting Rima's hands, which were locked around her stomach.

"That's right, Emi," Rima congratulated weakly, weighed down still by her negative thoughts earlier at Amu's house, and the newer ones sprouting their ugly heads now. The two-year-old, however, didn't notice the forced tone in her mother's voice, and nodded proudly.

Dr. Raj concluded the appointment with some warnings and other important information regarding the pregnancy and after scheduling another appointment, the friend's left, settling themselves in Rima's car.

The drive was mostly silent, if one ignored the music flowing through the car and Emi's voice singing along with it. Amu regarded the Hello Kitty and Tinker Bell stickers gracing the passenger side window, her fingers tracing over the glitter that made up Tink's right wing. The minutes stretched on until finally Amu asked meekly, "Ikuto could be the father?"

Rima glanced at her pink haired friend briefly before settling her gaze on the road. When Rima didn't answer, Amu added, "I think Ikuto knows it could be his. He's been trying to call me, but I've been too scared to answer. It didn't occur to me he _could_ be the father…. God, I'm a slut, aren't I? Don't even know who the baby daddy is." Even though Rima's attention was on the road, she knew Amu was crying. In her peripheral vision, she saw the other girl's shoulders shake, heard the unconcealed anguish in her voice.

The tight know of panic that had been ever present in her throat since she revealed to Nagi her dark secret reared its ugly head, and Rima swallowed convulsively. The shadows of the Bad Days were reaching out towards her, grasping, clinging, tugging her down…. They weren't gone. Rima had thought she had escaped the past, but it was following her even now. The blonde cleared her throat. "It'll be okay," she said hoarsely. "Call Ikuto. Talk to him. Utau didn't know you had been with him right?" When Amu shook her head slowly and croaked out a 'no,' Rima continued. "So Ikuto's calling you, hearing only that you had been with Tadase. He deserves to make his own choices, and I think he'd stay with you, no matter who the father is. The biological father isn't always the _real_ father." _And don't I know it._

Amu nodded meekly, putting a hand to her belly and turning to watch Emiko, who was still singing, blissfully oblivious to the two teens in front of her.

²

Ikuto turned over, trying to ignore his cell phone, but it just kept ringing. It was a really annoying song, something his sister had programmed a while back that he had yet to change back. Since the thing rarely rang, he hadn't bothered. But now he wished he had. Squinting his eyes at the green display on his side table, a growl escaped him. _Three in the fucking morning? _What kind of person called at such an ungodly hour?

Ikuto snatched up his phone, snapping out "What?" after answering.

Silence met the greeting, one that lasted long enough that Ikuto thought the caller had hung up. Just as he was about to hang up, a voice said quietly, "Ikuto?" causing his breath to leave him.

"Amu?" he asked hesitantly, rolling onto his back and throwing an arm over his eyes. It had been so long since he had heard her voice. Over a week, during which time he had been frantically trying to reach her. He had wanted to hear from her, hadn't believed what Utau had told him could be true. But as the days passed, and his phone calls were ignored, one after the other, his surety had diminished. He heard her swallow and his grip tightened around his black cell phone.

"I'm sorry." It was a simple phrase, uttered enough between two people over the centuries, but it held weighty consequences. Ikuto ground his teeth together. He'd never been able to handle her crying, and it seemed that just _hearing_ it had exactly the same effect. "I'm so sorry."

"So its true, then?" he asked lifelessly, removing his arm so he could stare at the ceiling. "You're pregnant?"

"That's not what I'm sorry about," Amu snapped, sniffling. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. Rima may have told her to call Ikuto, but at the time she hadn't thought she'd actually do it. However, as the night hours wound on, and Amu stayed awake, she had finally conceded and dialed the number. She did hang up a couple of times, but eventually, she had waited it out. And when she got voicemail, she had called again. And again. And again. Until she finally heard his voice for what felt like the first time. Her resolve wavered but she spat out, "I'm sorry for sleeping with Tadase."

Ikuto stiffened, his hands clenching into fists. She had actually admitted it? Utau had made it out like she would deny the fact until her dying breath. "Are you?" he asked humorlessly.

"Can you come over? Or I could come over there. I… don't want to have this discussion over the phone."

Ikuto blinked slowly, catlike. He stayed silent for a while, but in truth the answer had been hovering since the moment she first spoke. "Yeah…. I'll be there in a few minutes."

²

Amu rubbed her hands together, nervousness turning her palms wet. For once, her stomach wasn't trying to expel her internal organs, even though it was almost three-thirty, when she normally woke up to vomit. Looking back on the past weeks, Amu was surprised at how slow she had been. Her friends often called her dense, but even she should have realized that a.) missing her period, and b.) vomiting, meant BABY. Most likely, like any teenager, she hadn't thought it could happen to her, and had ignored the signs. Amu grimaced, putting a hand to her flat belly. _I've been so ditzy lately. Hopefully that's over with…. _

A sharp knock at her window stole her attention, an unbidden smile spreading across her face. The male opened the door, looking around the small pink room silently as he crossed the threshold like a vampire out of a horror movie. His indigo hair glinted in the moon's light, the sharp panes of his youthful countenance in sharp relief. He wore a simple black T-shirt and loose black jeans, his shoulders broader and his legs longer than when she had first met him, five years prior, at an impromptu concert in the park…. The same park that had been the start of their relationship's decline- or at least the first place where words were used to strike at it. It went farther back than that, back to that night when she got so drunk she hadn't even been able to walk straight. Amu gasped, drawing the older male's attention. She hadn't thought about that. That night…. If it was Ikuto's baby, the amount of alcohol she had imbibed could have hurt it, being that she was already carrying the fetus at the time. The pinkette blinked, trying to dispel the thought. Surely one time… it had been the last time she had drank, and only the second time in her life. The baby would be fine….

"Amu?" Ikuto asked gently, wishing he could be angry- which he was- and just be done with her- which he just… couldn't do….

"I'm sorry," Amu said, eyes pleading for forgiveness, but looking bereft. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering against the cold wind blowing in from outside. Ikuto moved to close the door, watching the teen pull on a thin gray zip-sweatshirt that had a black Jolly Rogers embroidered onto the left pocket, from the corner of his eye.

"What, exactly, did you want to say that you couldn't over the phone?" he asked, eyebrows pulling down when he realized how cold the comment sounded.

"I'm a slut?" she suggested, laughing humorlessly. "I don't even know who's my baby's father."

Ikuto glowered at the younger girl, his fists clenching as anger overcame him quite suddenly. "_Tadase's_ the father," he spat, his temper in no way reigned in by her flinch. Fuck. It. He calls her in the middle of night, makes him come over to her house in the middle. Of. The. Fucking. Night. And for what? To drive home the fact that she was pregnant with someone else's baby, because she cheated on him?

Amu swallowed convulsively, blinking against tears. His anger was to be expected. It was. Didn't mean it didn't hurt. "I'm so sorry," she chocked out, wrapping her arms around herself. "Please…. Just… if its yours, don't hate it?"

**M-fuzzTheGuardian: Oh, thank you so much ^^**

**Yours Truly98: True dat, Tru-chan (:P). It's so much to seem peppy when you have smiley faces ^^;; I'm definitely not the hyper one…. And I think I like Aourin. Someone suggested it for me (though I don't want to give names, because I don't know if they want to be mentioned), but I think it's cute :) I'm glad you like how I made her? I still think I may have gone to far…. Sweet Nade is so selfish…. Of course, I know the reasons, but I figure others would be even more disliking of her behavior than me ^^;;**

**XXx The Joker of a Writer xXx: Maybe some of both? lol. I love Nagi's scary side. I like when I get to show it *heheh* Anyway~ torture is the reason I write this story :P You'll never know if you're right 'till the big unveil *evil grin***


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Glitter rained down from the heavens, the undeniable proof that time moved on. When Rima had first moved to Seiyo, it had been summer and she had absolutely no trust in any living being not her daughter. Now, she had found true friends in Amu and Nagihiko, a designation no one had earned since that awful night at Jaimie's apartment…. And Nagi was even a guy.

Rima smiled softly as Emiko ran around their small yard, swaddled in a snow suit and jacket, as she tried catching snowflakes on her tongue. It was a funny sight, considering the ground was still green. However, the mystical flakes were gathering fast, and in no time Rima would help her daughter build her first snowman, as she had promised. It had been years since Rima had gotten to build one, herself. Since before she got with Jaimie and their family's wealth had dwindled down to nothing due to his regular beatings, which resulted in regular hospitalizations on her part- and the end to summer vacations to places that actually snowed. Seiyo was actually the first place Rima had ever lived that snowed, and she was enjoying the novelty of it all just as much as her daughter. It was a much different experience to watch the lively summer green grass turn white as layer after layer of individual snowflakes, each boasting their own personalities, fell to ground, then to arrive where snow had already been present for weeks.

The older blonde rubbed her arm, her teeth clenching at the reminder of yet another thing Jaimie had stolen from her. The only thing the bastard did right was get her pregnant- at least in that case SHE won. Rima had gained something more precious than a thousand snows, a daughter whom she loved.

"Snowman now?" Emi whined, bouncing up and down in front of her mother, arms spread out wide.

"There isn't enough snow, silly child," Rima pointed out, leaning down so one jeaned knee was resting in the thin layer of white. She cupped the sparse clump in her bare palms and held it out for Emi to take it in her mittened ones. When she did, Rima rolled her hands around, indicating for Emi to copy the movement, and watched with pride as Emi made her first snowball. "That's a snowball," Rima informed her, enjoying the role as teacher. Making her own, Rima threw it at the wall of their house. "You throw it like that. But never at someone's face," she added sternly, remembering a time when she'd been pelted with the things… and getting a chunk of ice in her eye. _Not_ a fun experience.

Emiko grinned, and drew her arm back. "Not the f-" Her warning was cut off as the ball soared over her head and a soft "oomph" followed. Rima spun around, landing on her butt in the process. Nagihiko stood there with a frown on his face, lightly wiping away the clumps of snow from his navy blue t-shirt. Then he looked up at Emi and grinned.

"Nice throw, cream puff," he congratulated, using Rima's nickname for her.

"Nagi~" Emi squealed, launching her overdressed self at the male.

"Emi," he rejoined, smiling brightly as he hefted her up into the air, his grin growing as she let out even more squeals of delight.

"I swear," Rima growled, wiping the snow from her backside (though it helped not at all with removing the wetness). "You _live_ to give me a heart attack. Your as bad as Emiko, seriously."

Nagi rose a purple brow at her, his gaze going up and down. "_What_ are you wearing," he sighed, having the gall to then carry Emi away from her to the front door.

"Excuse you- what am I wearing? And what do you think your doing with my daughter?" Rima demanded, stomping after him. She jerked to stop when he spun around and held out a bag she hadn't realized he had with a shit-eating-grin.

"I come bearing gifts. Peppermint hot chocolate," he said enticingly. Rima hesitated then sighed, waving her hand for him to continue. There was something about peppermint she couldn't resist, and he knew it.

Within minutes, the girls each had a steaming cup of chocolate greatness in front of them…. Well, okay, half of Emi's was already all over face, but that was beside the point. Nagi pulled his out of the microwave and joined them at the table, snatching one of the cookies Rima had set out for them and dunking it in his drink. Rima wrinkled her nose at the action, mouth falling open when Emi decided it looked fun and stuck her hand, cookie and all, into her mug.

"Look what you did!" Rima sighed, shaking her head at her friend and daughter, who looked completely unabashed. Deciding that was an argument for another time, Rima wiped off Emi's hands and asked, "What are you here for anyway?"

Nagi blinked slowly, as though he had no idea what she meant. He smiled serenely, taking a sip of his hot chocolate. "No particular reason. How's Amu doing? I've been _forbidden_ from speaking to her," he added pleasantly.

"She's seventeen and four months pregnant. What do you think?"

Nagihiko sighed. "What's wrong now?"

Rima rose her brows. "I have no idea what you mean," she commented pleasantly, tugging at the thin long sleeves that had been her only protection from the cold November air that had somehow given birth to snow. At least she understood what he meant by his clothing comment, even if she was playing dumb about what was bothering her.

"Rima." One word. Two deadly serious eyes. And a sudden clenching feeling in her chest.

"I was just thinking about the last time I played in the snow. I was thirteen, and I was playing with a friend who always stayed in the house next to ours."

Nagihiko gave her a questioning look, letting Emiko sneak his cookie away from him. Rima continued, "I was so bored, to tell you the truth. It was a yearly excursion, and I just wanted to go home and be with my _boyfriend_," she mocked, jaw clenching. "It was the last time I saw snow in real life, and I really wish I could've appreciated it a bit more. We'd only been dating a short time, so our family still had money."

"Still had money…?" he asked slowly, seeming completely confused by the seemingly unrelated comment. What in the world would how long she'd been dating that asshole (excuse his language) have to do with her families economic troubles?

Rima smiled tightly at him, figuring she might as well tell him. He hadn't ran when he learned she'd been used in the worst possible way. And really, life just sucked. She _wanted _to rid herself of her last dirty secret so she could truly put the Bad Days behind her. Rolling up her sleeves, she let out a frustrated little growl when the cloth refused to go past her elbows. But to truly exorcise the demons haunting her, she need him to _see_ the damage.

"Jaimie had this very strange quirk," she said sarcastically, pulling her long sleeved shirt over her head and revealing the light yellow tank top beneath it. Ignoring Nagi's sudden blush, she ran a hand over the scar on her arm, her long, un-callused fingers scratching over the bumpy pink flesh. "When he got mad, he liked to hit things. I didn't think much of it. Before our vacation that year, he'd hit walls or something. But he didn't like the fact that that friend I played with was a _boy_."

Nagihiko let out an angry breath, his eyes narrowing into dangerous slits as he took in the scar he often saw her worrying, the one he had noticed her strange attraction to the very first day he met her.

Rima licked her lips, her gaze turning glazed as she ran her fingers over the first wound she had sustained at Jaimie's hands (though by no lengths the worst. That would have to be…). Her hand changed directions, rubbing over belly. Yellow cloth lifted slightly to reveal… a wide scar across her abdomen. No, wait… it was dozens of long scars, some short and thick, and some stretching from hip to hip. Meeting Nagihiko's gaze, fear flitted through her at the sight of his expression. There were no words to describe the thing. Explosive, angry, livid, wrathful…. They all paled in comparison to what she saw, an expression so similar to the one Jaimie had worn when he had tried to kill Emiko when she was still inside her.

Rima flung herself out of her chair, backing away as memories turned her skin cold and her mind numb. She vaguely saw the distress on her daughter's face as she looked between her and Nagi. No…. This was supposed to erase the Bad Days. Not bring them to her doorstep… or her kitchen, as it were.

²

The terrified expression on Rima's face was like ice water on his temper. He _never _wanted to see that expression on her face, especially if he was the cause of it. Wishing the correct answer would be to go to her, but knowing the best way to calm her was to stay put, Nagi cleared his expression in a manner he was so used to Rima doing. A total destruction of anything _close_ to emotion. Kind of the way his heart felt- like a bomb had gone off in his thoracic cavity and destroyed the organs that kept him living- only he just refused to die and was left behind to pick up the remains.

"Remember when I said no one would ever find Him again when if I ever saw him? I'm thinking of revising that," he said pleasantly, sipping his hot chocolate and trying to appear nonchalant to calm her fractured nerves. "_No one _is too good for him. You know, I have an uncle who owns a landscaping business. I'm thinking, we borrow his wood chipper, leaves the remains for some wild wolves, set a horde of mutant dung beetles on what's left, then, for good measure, throw an atomic bomb directly over what little remains of that… prick." Like his sister, he didn't swear easily, but he knew his eyes shone with an unholy light as he contemplated even more awful ends for the boy who had done such awful things to the woman he was coming to love. Last he heard, Nadeshiko's ex-boyfriend from before their move to Seiyo was still seeing a psychiatrist over the results of _his_ little mistake.

Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. But the slow melting of Rima's tense expression told him he could make good on his promise, if she never had to look scared again in her life. Even when watching a horror movie.

Rima smiled wanly, but kept her position far away from him, her eyes locked on something far away. Considering she was staring at a toaster, Nagi figured she was seeing the past. Her jaw tightened then laxed, but her gaze stayed locked into space. Finally, she said, "He wants to kill her…."

**A note on the last chapter, the April first due date was completely coincidental. I took a date between the possible conceiving dates and added the gestation period and that's how it ended up. The baby won't die, as someone asked me _ (:P)**

**Anyway, sorry for the ridiculously late update :( I've really started to put a lot of effort into learning Korean, and that's on the side of school… (which means I'm learning two languages right now, Latin and Korean). So that takes up about an hour daily that I might have used for my stories, and also, I've started watching Secret Garden (awesome :P) and since I never watched TV, really, before, that's another slice of my afternoon gone. When I find something new, I get addicted… so until my Secret Garden obsession evens out, my brains all over the place. Kam-sa-hap-ni-da :(**

**Reviews~**

**XXx The Joker of a Writer xXx: Bwah ha ha *evil grin* The evil powers of a cliffhanger. But sorry, no continuation on the Amuto. But here's the new chapter (a week late D: )**

**Evidence Of Rain: Your review wasn't too long, no worries :D I'm so glad you enjoy my story, but you'll just to wait and see regarding your questions. Sorry :)**

**mm: Ahh… I understand your point of view. I'm not making Amu completely innocent or anything. I don't think even drunk's an excuse for what she did. Sadly, her story is important, however, for Rima and Nagi's development, so I hope you can bear with it, even if you feel no love for her. This is Rimahiko, and that will continue to be my main focus.**

**Yours Truly98: Aourin. You spelt it like aurora, not like aura (AOURIE, is pronounced "aura"). Yes, yes, Rimahiko is here. I'll get fluff, hopefully, in the next chapter. Nagi's emotions are making themselves evident, but Rima's gonna need some work :( Thank you :D I liked the last chapter too, even though it was a little rough :) Of course, I'm biased since I'm the author, but still :P**

**Gahk! It's the attack of the smilies again D: I must be in a good mood… maybe its because I'm finally getting off my lazy butt and updating instead of reading romance novels and watching Korean dramas (I'm turning into a middle-aged woman D: ).**

**I have cookies and milk for everyone to make up for the late update :( **

**You can have as many as you want- and as a special bonus, there's also Rima's peppermint hot chocolate…. Forgive! D:**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"_He wants to kill her…."_

Rima's words swam around Nagi's head for days afterwards. How could anyone want to kill Emiko? Her sweet face and loving demeanor overpowered his dismayed thoughts for a moment, her golden blonde hair and the green eyes that must have come from the Cockroach, the way she always smiled. She was the exact opposite form her mother, but in a way that made them all the more alike.

Of course, those thoughts brought back thoughts of Rima's ex.. What had Rima been like before she met him? Had she been like Emiko, carefree and happy? It was all so hard to imagine, having only known her for less than half a year. The woman- for that's what she was; to call her girl after all she had been through was just cruel- she had become, cool and distant, strong willed and weak at heart from however long she had suffered her abuse, the loving mother she was to a daughter no one could know she had…. All of it made imagining her "before" the Bad Days, as she called them, as though that truly encompassed the hell she had suffered, it was… beyond Nagi.

"Fujisaki!"

Nagihiko flinched, narrowly missing the orange ball of rage that had been on a war path towards his face.

"Dude," his best friend grinned, eyes laughing as Nagihiko bent to retrieve the errant basketball. Kukai was like that, always happy. It was why Nagi had asked him to play ball with him. He had been hoping some of that ridiculous joviality would rub off on him. Yeah… not so much. "On Thanksgiving vacation a little early, are we?"

Nagihiko scoffed, tossing the ball at the russet-haired male's stomach, though it was caught expertly before it made contact. Kukai just continued to grin playfully, dribbling the ball almost lazily. "Now, now," he scolded, waggling his finger as though chastising a child. "Dreaming about girls? Who's the flavor of the week?" he joked, more a reference to Nagihiko's summer job than to any kind of womanizing. He had never wanted to hurt a girl the way Nadeshiko had been hurt, and with Rima's recent revelations, he was learning his sex was capable of a lot worse than he had even thought possible. Sure, you heard about it, but until it happened to you or someone you cared about, it just doesn't seem real. "Yo! You're drifting again."

Nagihiko gave Kukai a gimlet stare, but soon sighed, turning his attention to the dull and scratched headboard with the tattered net that had seen many more years of bustling Seiyo than Nagi had. After a moment, he asked, "If you had a child, do you think you could handle losing it?" Kukai frowned, serious for maybe the fourth time in the lifetime Nagi had known the guy. The ball fell forgotten to the cracked asphalt, rolling away in morose silence. His expression just a little sad, he asked, in attempted humor, "Are we talking about who I think we are, or did you knock someone up?" It was said flatly, turning the cold November air chillier, snow dust from the snowfall a week ago dancing in elegant, forlorn waves in the soft wind.

"No. Not her. And no one's pregnant." Amu's current condition was ignored, the white elephant regarding her predicament having nothing to do with what he was asking. In a way, Nagihiko knew he should have asked someone who didn't know him so well. Someone he hadn't been friends with long before their families moved to Seiyo. Kukai just knew too much, though he knew nothing about Emiko's true parentage. That was a privilege Nagi alone had been awarded, and he wouldn't betray that trust. Nevertheless, Nagi knew exactly who Kukai was referring to and it made his heart hurt. "I'm just wondering. Would you ever want to hurt your child? If you hadn't wanted it in the first place? How could anyone ever do that?"

Kukai swallowed, lowering himself to ground. He plucked at the dry brown grass peaking through the cracks in the old court, his expression pensive. After a few minutes of silence, Nagihiko joined him, his hand going into his pocket to hold his phone. It had a picture on it Rima didn't know about, one he had taken of her and Emi when Belle's Creamery was still open and they still came for their Friday Ice Cream. Emiko's face was covered in chocolate, her mother holding a peppermint ice cream in one hand and a napkin in the other as she tried in vain to clean her daughter's face as the two year old resisted so she could go back to eating. What Nagi loved most about the private moment he had captured was the happiness beneath the playful exasperation on Rima's face, and the love that overrode all else. Emotions no one else would probably see if they didn't catch it by accident.

"I think no matter what, I'd love my child. Even if something happened, I'd never forget them. Could I hurt them? I think if anything, they'd hurt _me_. Any person worth calling themselves human would feel this way, I think," Kukai eventually admitted, teeth clenched as he tore angrily now at the dead clump of grass.

"He's not human," Nagihiko scoffed. "He's a cockroach. That's why the atomic bomb happens _LAST_."

"What?" The look Kukai gave him actually succeeded in making him laugh, a short burst of amusement. Nagihiko shook his head at his friend, his purple hair whipping at his cheeks.

"It's nothing," he chuckled, rising to his feet and holding out his hand.

Kukai frowned, accepting the out raised hand. "It's almost the anniversary, isn't it? Are you sure your okay?"

Nagihiko grimaced, turning his back on his friend to snatch up his basketball. "I hate it when people call it 'the anniversary.' It's more than that. But, yeah. I'm fine. It's Nadeshiko who's really hurting right now." He swallowed, his blood turning cold at the reminder. December fifth. The "anniversary." It was less than two weeks away, too much and too little for all who knew what the awful date symbolized.

"It would be worse if I called it what it really was," Kukai pointed out gently, following Nagi as he walked away from the court. His own voice was low with remembered pain, coming out choked, forced.

The silence that comment left was in no way comfortable, but it didn't lift until they arrived at a local coffee house where everyone used to hang out at, Before.

"Sometimes," Nagi admitted, rubbing his hands together now that they were inside, "Sometimes I wonder about that. Is it really better to pretend that the past never happened? For any of us?"

"I can't answer that," Kukai admitted quietly after a few moments, giving the cashier a flirtatious smile as he placed his order. He didn't say anymore until Nagi had placed his own and they had found a table. "I'm just a third party. You are the ones who have to live with the choices made. But personally? I think this goes back to your earlier question. Is pretending the child doesn't exist any better than killing them outright?"

_ ² _

Rima was _not_ okay. Despite the fact that she told countless people she was. Yet again, she had told Nagihiko more than she should have. More than he deserved to know. It ate at her, the thought that he knew all her darkest secrets. There wasn't anything left in her closet for him to unearth, but for some reason that which should have pulled them closer was what caused the sudden rift between them.

A week was their golden time, she was coming to realize. That's how long it usually took for things to right themselves. But for some reason the stupid boy was no where in sight, with his goofy smile and long purple locks (God, that made him sound like such a girl). And that was just making Rima more antsy. It was this anxiety that brought her to Safe Haven, her own personal home away from home, the little coffee shop they all used to hang out at before Amu got pregnant and the strong bonds holding their mismatched gang, splintered.

The scent of brewing coffee and the dull chatter-n-clatter in the background instantly made the young mother feel at ease. Well, a more accurate description would be, not _as_ stressed, rather than _at peace_, per se. But nevertheless, the delicious melting of tensed muscles finally gave Rima some room to breath. She didn't even bother to look around at the patrons, because by some unspoken rule, no one had visited Safe Haven since the fallout a month earlier. Rather, she made her way towards the cashier and ordered a peppermint coffee (thank the gods for the winter season).

So, of course, the tap on her shoulder had her jumping a foot in the air. Rima spun around, eyes wide, hands clenched at her chest, unable to still her ramped heartbeat even after seeing a familiar set of concerned ochre eyes.

"Are you okay? Rima?"

"Don't," she spat out, struggling to catch her breath. Images of death flashed through her head, even though she knew it was ridiculous. Damn, but with each secret she revealed to the idiot, another layer of her protective wall fell, leaving her defenseless. She hadn't jumped at shadows (or strangers, as it were) in a long time, yet suddenly she was a nervous wreck. "Don't sneak up on me. I can't- I just can't handle it right now," she sighed, finally marshalling her emotions. What stood before Nagi now was the Ice Queen, emotionless in the truest sense of the world.

"I'm sorry," he replied sincerely, glancing around.

"Mashiro!"

Rima gave Nagi a quick blank look before turning on her heel to collect her caffeinated goodness. Not that she really needed the rush at the moment, but whatever.

"I've got a table," Nagihiko offered from behind her. Rima looked over her shoulder with a slight glare as she handed over her money. Nagi smiled sheepishly and rose his hands in a helpless gesture. "We don't need to talk about what's bothering you. I could use the company right now, too. We'll just… I don't know, enjoy each other's… silent brooding?"

"Silent brooding," Rima deadpanned, giving Nagi a look that said he was crazy. To which, -what else- he nodded, smiling serenely.

Silence. Looong silence.

Nagi's smile faltered and he rose a brow at her. Hmm, was the Rima from all those months ago making her appearance? The one that would coldly shrug him off as though he were nothing special? Yeah, okay. The though hurt a little. But would Nagi behave as he always had if Rima knew his secrets? Well, more specifically, his family's, but the sentiment was the same. He knew more about her than even her mother knew, in a strange way. Though there were many holes, he knew _EVERYTHING_, which really was too much, that made her who she was. It was understandable that she'd distance herself. Yup, yup, he totally understood if she wanted nothing to do with him now-

"Yeah, whatever," Rima finally muttered. The glare came back in full force when Nagi suddenly froze up. "Well? Come on. My coffee's getting cold."

Nagi cocked a smug grin, and tipped his head toward the table Kukai and he had vacated just moments before Rima walked in. Fortunately, no one had claimed the thing.

This _silence wasn't so awkward_, Nagi thought as he watched Rima sip from the green mug, one of those ones that had two colors so the outside was olive green, and the inside was forest green. Like the darkness one person can hide beneath a light exterior.

**I'm pretty sure I promised fluff, but it didn't end up happening that way. Next chapter, I **_**promise**_**. Gomenesai **-/|\-

**I don't know exactly how long its been since my last update, ( a LONG time), but I'm not freaking as much as I normally would, because it wasn't my fault. It was all the freak October snowstorm's fault, and the fact that our part of town was ignored until yesterday, so I've been without power. Thus, if you want cookies, ask the town. (okay… you can have cookies anyway. I still feel bad :( )**

**So, apparently the EMA's were on tonight, even though I've been checking the guide like, everyday for a month, since I learned Big Bang was nominated, and I still missed it. I went on my Facebook and all over my page, the kpop pages were all, Congrats BIGBANG! Even Talk To Me In Korean, which is a website I'm using to learn Korean, said their congratulations. AND I MISSED IT! D: Its Tokio Hotel all over again, except this time I missed the whole award ceremony instead of just my favorite band's acceptance speech :(**

**Anyway, lets respond to reviews, ne?**

**M-fuzzTheGuardian: hank you for your forgiveness, and please forgive again :( I'm with you. Let's pull together a hunting party for the bastard. Definitely we can burn the rest of his unholy remains *evil laugh* And yeah, I love Emi :P I'm sure there'll be more snow pelting (?) the winter is long, and what's better fluff? We'll just have to see (so thanks in advance for the idea if I end up doing that :D) Thanks so much :)**

**Ripplerose: Thanks :D Sorry I took so long (yeah… my determination not to feel bad is sooo not working)**

**xXx The Joker of a Writer xXx: I love evil Nagi… just an FYI. He's definitely my favorite to write. I didn't review last time for you, but good job to you :D**

**Evidence of Rain: Sweet Deity, that's a long review (I love it though. Yay for long reviews!) Here's a hot chocolate, then. HEY PEOPLES, FEEL FREE TO ASK! Thanks :D Oh my Goddess, I call people child too, lol. (that had nothing to do with the scene, though… it just felt right at the time). I've gotten a lot of offers to help kill Jaimie. Ya'll pwn *sniff* so sweet…. Emi's got wicked ninja skills, I swear ;D Seriously, I wish I could show everyone everything she gets herself into. It's amazing what that two year old can do….**

**Mitsu36: Thanks :D At the time, you reviewed about a week after. And now I'm updating again! (so late D: )**

**YAY BIG BANG! (you know I have to throw that in there :P)**


	13. Not a Chapter D:

**Not a Chapter :(**

**Have you had those moments, when you go back into your previous chapters and thought… this is absolute crap? And you just love your readers that much more? Yeah… so, that's happened to me recently. I love you guys :'(**

**And on THAT note, I'm sorry for the late update -/|\- A couple of weeks ago, I lost all access to a computer, even to type. Feels nice to be typing on my nice new Word 2010 :) **

**However, I'm writer's blocking REAL bad. And since I promised a fluffy chapter, and I don't like to break my promises, I'm hoping ya'll can give me some ideas? Even if I don't end up using them (and if you decide to help, try to go from where they were last chapter, in the coffee house) I'm hoping the ideas will help me think of a new chapter…. If nothing else, the reviews may inspire me to get to work.**

**We're writing a short story in Creative Writing right now, and it's hard to write two stories at once, especially when one of those has a grade on it -_-**

**Reviews~ (though people probably forgot what they said)**

**Ripplerose: That's the spirit! I've got the nuclear bomb all ready, with Jaimie's name on it *evil grin***

**Evidence of Rain: Enjoy my cookies (o.0) lol It's the Christmas season and me and my stepmom both love to bake, and that's just going on the fact we'll bake anytime of year. My sisters obviously want in on the fun, so no worries ^^ I actually didn't get "oh my goddess from that. I did read it when I was younger, but I got bored when the god appeared and they needed to go into hiding…. Actually, I got bored when she cheated because I can't stand stories like that, but that's another story all together. I say it for other reasons. Nevertheless, thank you so much for your review. I didn't reason my writing was taken so well, and I greatly appreciate while I'm starting to have doubts about its quality.**

**M-fuzzTheGuardian: The storm was the whole coast I think? A lot of it, at least. True, fluff is nice when there's waiting, but I feel like fluff is needed this next chapter, not just because I promised but because that's the feel I get. I just can't figure out HOW to do it -_-**

**xXx The Joker of a Writer xXx: Now I'm picturing Nagi looking around frantically with wild eyes and messy hair. Thanks. Actually, that's and idea…. Hmmm :d**

**thelovelaced: (ch. 1-12) Yay! You're back, Mr. Song, is it? :D Are you related to the teacher? :O You're chapter 8 review made me laugh ("Oh know, fantasies about other people's fanfics!"). Who's ever the baby ends up being, I doubt Nade will be back with Tadase. She's got more pride than that, and well… you'll just see ;)**

**comedyqueen123: (ch. 2, 7, 12) I was going for a soap-opera-y thing, but I was told off -_- (let the reviewers ask the questions). Uhm, but I don't know what you mean by "At th end quote yeah thats what she said". Would you mind explaining? You don't have to (obviously).**

**Sorry for this non-chapter. I know I don't like to see a story I like (not that I'm saying you like this, that's completely your decision *puppy eyes*) in my inbox, saying UPDATE and then having it be a non-chapter, but I honestly have no idea what to do. I mean, I know where I want to go with the story, but it's just been so long that I'm tired of letting my brain take its sweet time figuring it out on its own. Actually, as I write this ideas are starting to form (writing is therapeutic), but I'd still appreciate your input. I'm nowhere near a real chapter in my head yet.**

**You know the drill. Free Hot Cocoa, Tea, Coffee, in a large variety of flavors, and endless sweets for my RIDICUOSLY late update **-/|\- **Gomenasai, jeongmal joesonghapnida :(**


	14. Extra

**Honestly, I hate the fact that my updates are so late. I will be done with my Creative Writing class next Wednesday, so hopefully I'll get back into a more regulated schedule. Nevertheless, I've decided to post this, a gothic story I wrote for the class with the FULL intention of one day putting it into What You Don't Know, I just didn't realize it would be soon. So sorry for those hoping for fluff :( It's short, but it gives you a little inside to Rima's head the day she found out she was pregnant. I hope you like it?**

A sterile silence hung heavy in the dense air, one that just _dared_ you to speak.

Gods, how I wish I could meet that challenge, but I couldn't. Couldn't move, not for the leaden sensation in my limbs as they pressed into the thin hospital bed. I knew the feeling well, but still fear built in my throat, trying in vain to claw its way out my frozen lips in a scream. I struggled to pry my lids open, the choking darkness a prison I'd seen far too many times in my life. I couldn't afford a moment of pleasant disorientation, nor would I be granted the luxury. I knew full well how I got here, but the only thing running through my fogged up mind is: out.

I need to be free. The steady pulse of my heartbeat no longer brought with it that freeing relief, the knowledge I was alive. Was I even alive anymore? It felt more like I was a guest in the body that went by name. Just go through the motions. Eat, go to school, sleep. A never ending cycle I'm forever trapped within.

Memories assault my foggy mind, smashing at the thralls hospital-given drugs have on my already pain-addled body. The pain, humility, blood, all banging around the head that rolls useless on a bruised, slender neck. Surely those aren't my memories? Surely it's not my hell I dream of whenever I close my eyes so much as to blink.

I'm stuck, drowning, uselessly banging on my coffin's lid, head tipped back to spit out the grainy, worm-infested dirt that chokes me._ Worthless_.

God, please let me wake up.

_You're lucky you have me. Don't you realize?_

I loved you. I _loved_ you.

The vicious cycle is starting again.

He'll say, "I'm sorry. I love you."

I'll choose to believe him. So earnest…. I drown in his green eyes, wide with "remorse", and let the hands that made me bleed, comfort. Let the lying limbs that held me down as I screamed and cried wrap around me, putting me yet again at his mercy.

The silence is shattered by a soft voice. Not him.

The darkness only seems to swell, my physical body getting more distant. I'm sitting in a prison, liked a caged beast. I feel the cold press on my forehead like a distant memory I don't want to remember.

I know this is the end. Whatever is on the other side of this pressing darkness, it will succeed in crushing me. What's the point of waking up?


	15. Chapter 13

**Finally!~ A real update~ Don't know if it's any good, but I did get some (really bad) fluff~ If nothing else, Rima's feelings are making their appearance. Seven pages =_= I worked hard for you guys. In this chapter: A Friend's Love~ U-Kiss. There are no lyrics (I'm afraid of copyrights ^^;;), but you can look up the song. Honestly, it's a good song. So… yeah. Enjoy?**

**Chapter 13**

"You know, my sister used to dance."

Rima swallowed, unable to process what he had just said. She was shaken to the core. Why had _that_ memory come upon her so suddenly? As the silence stretched into the minutes, Rima forced herself to nod, picking up her nearly empty mug with shaking hands. "W-what happened? Why doesn't she anymore?" she asked after a minute of silence in which she very carefully sorted through his words. Did he hear the emotions clogging up her throat in her voice?

Nagi frowned, tilting his head slightly. "Are you okay?"

Rima smiled unconvincingly and nodded. "I'm fine. We aren't going to talk about what's bothering us, remember?"

Nagihiko opened his mouth to reply, but Rima had turned her attention to the outside, to all the strangers walking past Safe Haven completely unaware of the turmoil going on in other people's lives as they went on blissfully in their own. The sun was low on the horizon, not yet setting yet giving off so little illumination to the Earth. Across the street, young children left the dance studio with their parents in pretty pink leotards and happy smiles, appearing to be talking animatedly. In that moment, Rima really needed Emiko. She needed her mannerisms and bubbly personality, to hold her small warmth in her arms and _remind_ herself that it hadn't really been the end that day. It had been a new start.

Nagihiko frowned at Rima, who looked like she was being held in her skin by the smallest of threads. He wracked his brain, trying to find something to distract her from wherever she had gone inside her head. The only thing he could come up with… was something he didn't have a right to tell her.

"Things came up that prevented her from dancing. Actually, our whole family used to dance, but it just didn't feel right anymore. Not when Nade _couldn't_ anymore. She had always loved dance so much more."

"Really?" she replied distractedly, her eyes following the passerby. There was a dead look in them, the one Nagi hated seeing. It meant she was in a bad place inside her head.

"So, I was thinking…" he started, watching Rima's expression carefully. She twitched slightly, so he knew that at least she was listening. "Do you want to go dancing?"

Rima blinked and turned to head to give her purple-haired friend an incredulous stare. Blushing slightly, she stuttered out, "D-dance?"

Nagi grinned, happy to get an emotion out of her. "Yeah. Don't you know how?"

"Of course I know how to dance!" she spat back, crossing her arms and leveling a glare at Nagi.

"Prove it, then!" he shot back, grinning brightly.

"I will!"

"Good." He chuckled, standing up.

"N-now? I'm not really dressed for… I haven't finished my coffee, even! Maybe, ah, rain check?"

"Request—denied," he replied cheerfully, pulling on his coat.

Rima growled something under her breath he couldn't really hear, and was probably glad he couldn't, but stood up after downing the rest of her pepperminty beverage. "I'm only doing as payment for helping with Emiko," she announced haughtily as she shrugged into her own thin sweatshirt. She hadn't had the money to buy anything heavier, and since it had been so long since she'd lived somewhere that got so cold, there had been nothing packed away—when you're on the run from a psychopathic ex trying to kill you and your daughter, you tend not to think ahead to a time when you _might_ need a winter jacket. Rima had ended up spending all her free cash on the cute snow suit for Emi the other week.

In truth, she was a little excited. After Jaimie's failed attempt at abortion, she had been unable to do any strenuous activity for a long time. After she had been cleared by the doctors, she just hadn't _felt_ like it. That she was looking forward to dancing with Nagi was actually really surprising to her.

The teens walked in silence for a few minutes, Nagi seemingly lost in his thoughts, a faraway look in his eyes. Rima watched him in her peripheral vision, a little confused by his behavior. Just a moment ago, he had seemed so excited, but now, he was more reserved than she had ever seen him. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask her what was wrong, but that wasn't something Rima Mashiro did.

"What's wrong?" Fuck. She asked anyway, didn't she? What was _wrong_ with her? Her heart did a little flip at the smile he gave her, one so obviously fake it was amazing Ms. Song was so proud of his acting abilities. She mentally scoffed that her abilities were being compared to that—or at least, she would have, if she didn't find herself so worried all of a sudden.

"I'm fine," he replied, fake smile in place. _Liar. _

_Don't lie to my face. I've had to do it too many times in my life not to notice the signs. There's something wrong. Something you can't even share with me._

"Nagihi-"

"We're here!" he announced, casually evading her question. He rose his arms and spun once, a slight smile hanging on his lips.

"What the heck's gotten into you," Rima sighed, ducking under his arm to go inside the building they had stopped in front of. It was pretty nondescript, with an old sign hanging over the door that she couldn't read in the night light, a few posters of famous dancers even _she_ knew in the window…. Besides those small facts, literally nothing stood out about it. It was just an old brick building. Nothing special. Still, she walked silently down the hall, turning when she was told, until the two teens reached a small dance room.

Rima swallowed before grimacing. Her palms were sweaty, and her muscles were twitching, telling her she needed to _run_, but she beat down the feeling—it wasn't in anyway gone, but she refused to live by fear. Nagihiko had never done anything to her… he….

Nagihiko coughed once, before pulling his mp3 from his pocket and playing with the buttons, almost unconsciously. Honestly, they stood there for several minutes in complete silence until Nagi seemed to come to terms with something his shoulders squaring and a determined look coming into his eyes.

_Maybe he's going to tell me what's wrong? _…. And why the feck did she care?

"Wou- I know I shouldn't ask this of you," he stuttered uncharacteristically. "But if I asked you tell Nade, or let me do it, would… could you allow that?"

"Tell Nade what?" Rima snapped, growing frustrated due to the caged animal feeling she was getting from being in an unfamiliar place alone with a boy, even if it was a friend, and from Nagi's strange behavior. He didn't seem to understand where her tone came from, however, for his face turned white and he seemed more uncertain.

"I want to be able to tell you what's wrong with me, but it's not my story to tell. I-if you told Nade you were Emi's mom, she might feel comfortable enough to talk to you…. I know you really—"

Rima was floored. Was he kidding her? Was he _fecking_ kidding her? Tell the girl who hated her that she was a mom, when the whole reason she kept the fact to herself was to keep Emi safe? Too many people knew already. She sneered, unable to control her expression in that moment. This was why she didn't trust anyone. No one was _worth_ the trust. This fact had been proven true time and time again. Who was she kidding when she thought life would be any different in Seiyo?

"Are you stupid?" she spat, backing away without really thinking about it. "What could she possibly have to say that would make it worth revealing—"

"Rima."

"What could have possibly thought my daughter's life was worth the risk for whatever stupid little secret your sister has-"

"You know what? I don't know why I bothered. Nadeshiko is not the person you think her to be. You don't know what _she's_ been through. Yes, you've been hurt so much more, and it literally kills me whenever I think about it—and I think about it a lot. It's always a thought in the back of my head. That I need to protect you from ever being hurt again. How I wish I could take the bad parts of your past away.

"…. But there's more to life than just the circle you shut yourself up in, locked away from feeling." Nagi's breath hitched, and he turned away quickly, but Rima knew he was crying. "I wanted to share with you the pain I've known. I didn't think it was fair I knew everything about your past, but you knew nothing about mine. You know what? Forget about it. Let's just not do this. I'll see you in school tomorrow."

"Na-" Rima's eyes widened at the same Nagi's did, just as shocked by her movement as he was. Face turning red, she tightened her hold on his waist, never one to do something halfway. _Don't let him walk away this time. If we leave things like this, it may never be fixed._ Did she really care? She didn't need anyone. She had Emiko…. "Weren't we going to dance? You can't just leave now. You promised me." The words came out before she could stop them, but she didn't bother retracting them. What was out was out.

Nagi's hands fell hesitantly onto her shoulders, a light touch she could easily extricate herself from if she felt the need to. He couldn't really see her face well, but what he could see was the same distanced one she always wore—covered by a slight blush he wasn't used to.

Though he wanted to just wrap his arms around her and hold her, and never let go, he gently pushed her away, ignoring the extremely surprising expression of hurt that flashed through her eyes as he pulled his mp3 back out from his pocket and flipped through the songs. He watched Rima's face as each song started, trying to find one she seemed to like. Eventually, he landed on A Friend's Love, by U-Kiss. Her brows furrowed and he let it play a while longer. Honestly, he didn't know how the song had gotten on his iPod (those damn mp3 faeries at work, dropping random songs into the thing), but she seemed to like it, so he rewinded and set the piece of technology on the ground.

"May I have this dance?" he asked with a lazy smile, giving her his hand to accept or reject. Rima blinked at it, before carefully setting her hand in his.

They danced in silence for several songs, and Nagi didn't bother breaking it. It felt almost right. A companionable silence that had more the effect of strengthening the bonds of their friendship than putting a strain on it.

An hour later Nagi was doing some silly dance to a song she didn't recognize when his iPod died. The sudden silence filling the room sounded loud in Rima's ears. She felt closer to Nagi now. Not just because they had danced together to slow and fast songs alike, but just because… she didn't even know. Today felt like a turning point in her life. Tomorrow would be a different day, and she may finally succeed in escaping the past.

She nibbled on her lip, slightly disgusted with the sudden timidness overcoming her, but she wasn't sure if the decision she had come to over the past hour was the right one. But… she really needed to learn to trust…. And surely Nade could be trusted, if she knew why she couldn't tell anyone? It had seemed really important to Nagi she knew. And, despite everything, she surprisingly found herself trusting him irrevocably. Even after her freak-out only an hour ago in which she had sworn she could trust not even him. That had been just that. A freak-out.

As Nagihiko was bending over to pick up his iPod, Rima said, "If I tell Nadeshiko about Emiko, can you promise absolutely NO harm will come of it?"

~ㅋ~

Nadeshiko turned on her side, not really feeling like moving out of bed. The calendar on her wall seemed to be laughing at her, the glaringly red "X" on December 5th a sight she was honestly not strong enough to ignore, yet she had been unable to dishonor Hiroki's memory by not marking the date in some fashion. It was a Monday, but she wouldn't be in school that day. She hadn't been going on _that_ date for years.

When a slight pain registered in her neck, she realized she had been staring at the primary color for several minutes and wrenched her attention onto her clock. It was noon already. It still felt strange, even after three years, to wake up so late. As a child she had never slept past eight o' clock. Didn't matter how sick or tired she was, she was up and dancing by nine, if not earlier. Usually earlier, but that was something her mother didn't need to know.

Though every muscle in her body refused to move without a lot of effort, Nadeshiko forced herself into a sitting position and pulled her phone off her bedside table, for what she didn't know. She had no one to talk to. It was just habit.

…. Gods, now was _not_ the time to think about Tadase. Not when depression was a real threat, not just something to joke about. Something she could very easily fall into. Especially now… only twelve days away from the anniversary. Warmth registered on the fists clenched in her lap and she realized she was crying. Desperately, she rubbed her hands against her face, trying to erase the emotions overcoming her.

Hiroki was honestly the only reason she was still alive. For him, she continued through the days though she'd never see him again. Not outside of the one photo she had been able to get. Not even Nagi knew she had it. No one did, no one but Hiroki's parents. She had begged and pleaded for just the one reminder of him. Eventually, they had conceded. It would never be enough for her, though. Hiroki should be in her arms. Not be where he was. Not… gone from her forever.

Some people… didn't know how lucky they were. Truly. There were so many people she'd rather be. So many lives she'd have rather lived.

***scared* So? What did you think?**

**Did you look up A Friend's Love? Kk, so since my last real update, I've become a completely different person ^^;; I've lost interest in Shugo Chara!, but I promise to finish this story. In addition, as you may have a noticed a few chapters back, I'm a VIP, but now my love is mostly for Infinite~ 3 Keke, there's more but ya'll don't care. But, as I've said before, must shamelessly promote my idols :) (*cough cough* 3 TOP *cough cough* 3 DongWoo *cough cough*).**

**If you want to read the short story I wrote for my Creative Writing class, the damn thing that got in the way of this, then you can find it ("Not What it Seems") on my Fictionpress account (same name).**

**So~~ Reviews~**

**i-is-monstarr-RAWR ~ Glad someone's still enjoying this :)**

**KukanuLover101 ~ Thanks ^^; I hope you can keep that opinion….**


	16. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Rima clenched her hands in her lap as she looked around the opulent room, not sure if she was doing the right thing. The place was a foreign world to her. She had grown up in money, but it was easy to become used to living on nearly nothing when you had to. This world had long since become nothing more than a dream.

Emiko, however, had no such worries as she dashed around the room, chattering on about one thing or another. Rima smiled softly at her daughter, not worried about being seen with the emotion. How easily this place had become a second home to Emi in the few months she'd been cared for by Nagi's mother. It was with no hesitation that she pulled down an old stuffed rabbit, hugging it to her chest, like she had done so many times.

_She must play with that a lot when she's here_, Rima mused, taking in the collapsed belly of the thing that indicated being held tightly for long periods of time. Other than that, it had no visual signs of having been played with besides the slightly faded appearance that happened naturally from sunlight and air.

"Emiko~" a warm voice called as its owner entered into the room with the air of an actress. Mrs. Fujisaki gave Rima a small smile as she seated herself across from her, crossing her legs with exact precision. Her back was pin straight, her long hair pulled back into a tight bun. Rima could believe she had once been a dancer in these moments, even though she had never seen her dance. Honestly, though she had known Mrs. Fujisaki had been quite famous (at least, according to the woman herself), Rima had had no idea her twins had also been interested in the art. That revelation had been new to her, and had struck an uncharacteristic curiosity in her as to what had caused the Fujisaki siblings to quit. "Rima."

"Mrs. Fujisaki," Rima greeted politely, nibbling on her lip with uncertainty.

The mentioned woman narrowed her eyes slightly, regarding the younger girl's strange behavior. "Is something wrong?"

"No," Rima replied vaguely, turning her attention onto Emiko rather than anything else.

"Did… Was it that you needed me to watch Emiko for you? You know I don't mind on short notice. It's not like I have anything else to do in my day," she added with a light laugh. In truth, she was a very busy woman, but she liked having Emiko around. It was how she imagined it would be like with grandchildren, the little creature following her around and helping out as best their little hands and minds could. It was a fantasy she had often entertained, and having Emi around had given her some of that pleasure she had dreamed about, even if she wasn't her blood.

"No, that's not it. Actually… Nagi wanted me know something. Something he thought was really important for me know, but I needed to tell you all something—Nadeshiko specifically—before he would, or as he put it, could, tell me."

Mrs. Fujisaki frowned deeply, ignoring the sudden pain in her chest. Surely Nagihiko hadn't meant to tell her_… that_? As much Mrs. Fujisaki loved doting on Emiko, surely the girl's sister had no secret worth… that.

The older woman tilted her head and gave Rima a small smile, though she could not see it, trying not to reveal something was amiss. To do so might cement the girl's curiosity…. True, Rima didn't seem the most likely to go after something if it proved to be too much work, but in certain matters one could not be too careful. Mrs. Fujisaki knew this from her days as a dancing celebrity… the one and only Dancing Queen. A title Nadeshiko might have shared with her had the... incident not occurred.

"Did Nagihiko give you any hint as to what he felt the need to share with you?"

Rima looked away from Emi for a moment, a little shocked by the cool tone in Mrs. Fujisaki's voice. This was a different side of the woman caring for her child that she never before had seen, and it bothered her. Was Emi treated alright when she left? …. Were these people who could be trusted with her secret?

"No," Rima replied slowly, pulling Emiko onto her lap when the toddler came over for a hug. "He just told me it was something that he wasn't allowed to say. That it wasn't his secret to give, but why he was so… not himself."

"Nagihiko? Not himself?"

"He just—"

"What. The. Hell."

"Nadeshiko!" Mrs. Fujisaki rose from her seat, carefully patting her still perfect hair though she failed to completely mask her concern.

"What is she doing here? And the why does that _brat_ have that?"

Rima growled under her breath, leveling a glare at her friend's twin. If looks could kill… the Fujisaki's would be grieving right now. "Call Emiko a brat again. See what happens to you. Only _I_ can call her a brat."

"She has no right to touch that!" Nadeshiko exploded, looking angrier than Rima had ever seen her. Beneath her eyes were huge bags, as though she hadn't slept well in a while.

"Nadeshiko, dear, it's alright," Mrs. Fujisaki tried appeasing, giving Rima a warning look as the girl seethed. Emiko looked extremely frightened, her body trembling with fear as she clutched the little doll tighter.

"Alright? That's Hiroki's!"

"Nadeshiko…."

The purple-haired girl swallowed thickly, her face turning deathly pale. Even Rima began to worry. That was no normal response. It was just a toy. Nadeshiko's eyes turned wild, and she wrapped her arms around her middle. "His birthday's only a week away, mom. I'm going to miss another birthday," she cracked out, shoulders shaking as she ungracefully lowered herself to the floor.

Rima's mouth opened, but no sound came out. For a disoriented moment, Rima wondered if this was how Nagi had felt the day he had asked her if Emiko was her daughter. Completely sure and unsure at the same time that she had just a learned a secret that no one should be privy to. That, surely, she must be mistaken.

"Hi-ro-ki?" Emi sounded out, going unnoticed by the other women.

"Who's Hiroki?" Rima asked, smoothing out Emi's golden hair.

The glare Nadeshiko leveled back on her almost rivaled Rima's. Almost. "You don't have a right to say his name. Don't you dare mutter it."

"I like Hiroki," Emiko grinned, holding the bunny up and inspecting its beady eyes.

"I don't want her to have that," Nadeshiko snapped, but rather than seeming cruel, she sounded completely heartbroken. Rima bit her lip, glancing at an old photo of Nagihiko and Nadeshiko that stood on the mantel. They both had wide grins on their faces, though Nagi was less muscular and Nade had been less… thin. That was really the only way to explain her current skeletal frame, which even just a few months ago she had not possessed. Since Amu had revealed she was pregnant, Nadeshiko seemed to have slipped into a deeper depression than Rima had always noticed she had possessed, at least in some quantities. Rima knew the feeling. It was the dead-in-her-skin feeling she had gladly harbored after being raped, until the day Emi had been born and she had realized she didn't have just herself to care for anymore. She needed to wake up each morning and make sure the infant she had grown received the food it needed, that it was warm and cleaned and loved.

Nadeshiko had obviously never had the chance to do that with her son.

"Emiko, can mommy see that?" Rima said gently, kneeling down beside her daughter, forcefully keeping her muscles from shaking with fear. She had no idea how Nade would react, what she would do.

Emi smiled brightly and nodded vigorously. Rima had to smile sadly at that as she gently held the toy rabbit like it was a child to be cherished and returned it to where Emiko had taken it from. She really wished she didn't need to hide her relationship with Emi. It always made her so happy when Rima called herself "mommy".

"Okay, Nade? I put it back. It's okay now." The role of mother was the only one that came easily to her, so rather than trying to comfort Nadeshiko as she would a friend, she spoke carefully, as she did with Emiko when she was upset. The other teen's face fell and the tears came harder. "We didn't know it was your son's. We won't do it again, right Emiko?"

Emi blinked and tilted her head. "Mommy. Why she crying?"

"She's sad…." Rima said carefully. "Nadeshiko…."

"Mommy?" Nadeshiko asked. Her eyes held no condemnation. Rather, she looked extremely tired, and a bit a hopeful.

Rima crossed her arms and nodded her head once. There was no backing down now. Hopefully, Nadeshiko would respect her wish to keep her maternity a secret; it would benefit her, as much as it did Rima.

"Emiko's your daughter?" Mrs. Fujisaki asked in shock. Rima didn't react. Her eyes stayed glued to the younger Fujisaki female.

Nadeshiko shrugged her mother's hands off her shoulder and carefully stood up. Rima instantly grew wary and pulled Emiko behind her. The purple-haired female's steps were exact, each taken as though it took the greatest effort to make the limb move. Finally, she stopped before Rima and just stared, her eyes watery.

Rima flinched when arms were suddenly wrapped around her, turning her attention to a corner of the room and clenching her teeth against the claustrophobia that enveloped her. She still couldn't, almost three years later, handle sudden contact with anyone not Emiko; moreover, here was someone who, three minutes earlier, had seemed to hate her guts, and yet was now hugging her as though her life depended on it.

"Why…," Nadeshiko sobbed into Rima's shoulder. "Why do you get to keep your daughter when I had to give my son away?"

Rima's blood turned to ice at the thought of having given Emiko up for adoption. She probably wouldn't be alive to this day, if she hadn't had Emi to keep her grounded. That chilling thought alone had her hand raising and carefully patting her best friend's twin's back comfortingly as the girl cried.

**=_= Almost two months. I am SOOOOOOOOOOO sorry. I've been either Writer's Blocked, or unmotivated. Finally I got my ass in gear. I think it's kind of obvious my weekly updates of the long forgotten past are over with…. But I'm never abandoning this story. It WILL get finished.**

**Yeah… who guessed who Hiroki was? Now that that's out of the way, the path to Jaimie's reveal is starting, as well as a major progression into Rima and Nagi's relationship. We'll have to see how many chapter's this beast ends up being =_=**

**OPTIONAL A/N UNTIL NOTED On a happier note (because I hate angst, and don't even know why the heck I'm writing this), who listens to Kpop? *cough* Much better than Jpop, trust, I've listened to both genres extensively*cough* I'm am SO obsessed with EXO's History. Literally, I've listened to the song over 100 times, and it's been out not even two weeks. Any EXOtics here? Probably not =_= I was obsessed with What is Love, as well, but WOW. This is a new level, even for me, and you should've been there when I first found Infinite and became obsessed with them. Even now, months later, I can listen to any of their songs 8 times in a row, but 14 times a day for nearly two weeks straight? In LOVE with Tao's voice, even though it's not the type of voice I usually like…. LISTEN. :D And to Nu'est's Face. It's about putting an end to bullying, and is seriously addicting as well. Nu'est's Aron is from California :D How many Jpop artists do you know that came from other countries? EH?And I love Ren, and his voice… and he doesn't look like a girl :**

**(If you want **light** (I got scared and didn't go all the way, but it's still M rated), Infinite Yadong smut, check me out on Asianfanfics (when its finally fixed :( ) by the name Photo_is_music )**

**Also (kpop fans who read this know I need to say this; you've seen my Big Bang spams),**

**BIG BANG IS ALIVE~~**

** END OPTIONAL A/N**

**OKAY~ Now that that's over with, reviews~ (if you remember what you said lol)**

**Evidence Of Rain: Thank you so much :D I love it when people don't see my chapters as much of as a fail as I see them =_=**

**i-is-monstarr-RAWR: :)**

**chiconmayarox: :) Because what kind of author would I be if there wasn't one? (a nice one? lol)**

**cutevampkitten03: Aww :D Thanks~**

**Black Rose: Yay!~ :D Sorry I couldn't update soon :(**


	17. Chapter 15

**I'm back~~ As I'm starting this chapter, I realized that it's been exactly one month since my last update. I'm an awful person, I know -_-;;;**

Chapter 15

Rima ended up staying at the Fujisaki's for several hours, neither teen saying a word to the other and yet somehow saying all that needed to be said. In silence, they flipped through the thin baby book Nadeshiko had made starting from the first doctor's appointment, up to the picture of Hiroki covered in cake on his first birthday, which she had coaxed out of his parents; of course, the months in between birth and birthday were missing, a fact that seemed to kill even of more the light that Nadeshiko had managed to keep in her eyes. It was obvious from her reaction that she didn't bring herself to look at the sonograms often.

Eventually, Nagihiko came home. Neither acknowledged his presence, choosing instead to flip through the meager pages for yet another round of self-imposed torture. This went on until Rima reluctantly announced she needed to go home to put Emi to bed. Honestly; she didn't _want _to the let Nadeshiko's distressed expression affect her. It shouldn't have. But nevertheless, it did. Every little sob that slipped out from between Nade's lips, every tear that _plopped_ against the plastic covering the precious images, all of it brought back the horrid memories of being alone; of having no one to comfort her but a mother who would never know the whole story, after being raped and then finding out she was pregnant with his spawn—as, at the time, she had thought else of the beast growing inside of her. Sometimes, one needed a friend, and even though the teen mothers were not very close, they shared an intangible bond that somehow kept Rima seated though in any other situation she might have made up any excuse to get away as quickly as possible.

"Rima, wait," a voice called from behind her as she started down the winding path from the front door.

Rima sighed and shifted her daughter higher up on her hip, giving her friend an exasperated look. It was late, she was tired, and she'd had just about enough of the Fujisaki clan for a month. Or two. Her expression didn't soften at all when he blushed. Really, it didn't.

"Uhm…," he managed to stutter out. Seriously eloquent. His heart felt like it was yet again attempting a suicide mission, beating relentlessly against his sternum as it tried to break free into the outside world. This was becoming a much too common occurrence. The inability for speech, more than anything, frustrated him. He could hide his clammy palms, keep his irregular breathing subtle. But he couldn't hide from the fact that he had forgotten how to talk to Rima without looking like a fool.

"Uhm?" she deadpanned, looking up at him through her bangs before turning on her heel and continuing on down the long gravel path to the street.

"C-can I walk you home?" he managed, flashing what he hoped was his more familiar cocky smile.

"You can do what you want. It's a free country."

Nagihiko bit his lip, deciding that now wasn't the best time to squeal like a little girl who had just had their crush profess his love to. That would be completely unprofessional. This offer was merely to protect Rima, and her daughter, from nighttime perverts; or maybe just a helpful action given from one friend to another. Nothing more. He couldn't let it be more. Because that would only cause heartbreak; Rima would never return any feelings he developed towards her.

They walked in relative silence, but inside his head all he could hear was Rima's laughter and the beauty of her movements when they danced together the other night. Before, he had felt a shift in the way he looked at Rima. She had started to become something he wanted to protect, something he cherished. She was someone he knew he would not be able to handle never again being able to spend those types of silent moments alone with. However, suddenly he couldn't help but feel he wanted _more_. He didn't want to be the silent best friend who did anything and everything, and got nothing in return. It's not that he wanted "_her_", per se. Rather, he wanted her spirit, her smiles.

_And aren't I just turning into some kind of poet_, Nagi thought sarcastically.

It wasn't long before the warm lights gracing Rima's doorstep became visible. In fact, it was almost too soon. When Rima paused beneath the yellow glow, her blonde hair shining brightly, Emiko sleeping peacefully on her shoulder, Nagihiko's mind went blank. And he took an initiative he never thought he'd manage to gain the courage for. Quickly, he pecked Rima's lips, face flushing bright red, and took off. Maybe it was a little child-like. Maybe he had just ruined their friendship. Or maybe, just maybe, he had unlocked what could be the happily-ever-after neither thought they would ever achieve.

**Short chapter, but I'm going to try to update soon (meaning, before another month goes by -_-) . It was a little hard to weave the last chapter into the next part of the story nicely with a long chapter (which is why it ended up so short), but I'm sure you all are happy with what I managed to give you? :D **

**Because I am such an awful person for giving such a short chapter after so long, here's what I will say: My plans right now are to start the next chapter off with the Satan Spawn himself, Jaimie. We'll see Rima's reaction (to the kiss), as well, and anything else… We'll see how it goes. Maybe we'll see how Amu's pregnancy is going? I don't know for sure yet. It all depends on how long Jaimie and Rima's parts are, and if I need anything else….**

**C-can I just spaz for a moment? EXO debuted TT_TT **

**Finally.**

**You don't even know how happy I am. Seriously. ****ㅠㅠ **

**I'll stop bothering you now…. _**

**Follow me on Tumblr? I'm lonely :( .com/**

**Reviews~**

**Peachygotit-Kica: I'm so glad :) Thank you so~ much ^^**

**Cutevampkitten03: Wow :D It's getting better? Thanks!**

**Charastarlight87: You. Are awesome. Ego has officially been boosted ;)**

**BakaNeko: :O Is that bad? -_- I don't like drama either… But when a story forms, you gotta run with it. I never realized that this was where I'd be when I first sat down and wrote the first chapter.**

**Tru-chan (Chapters 11, 12, 14, 15, 16): You're back!~ TT^TT It's okay! As long as you didn't give up on me! (So many people did ._. My hits went down a lot….). Kekeke. I know. That was my plan :D I specifically wrote it that way so people would think that :D I am diabolical~ :P**

**ZeldaRulesAll: A lot of times I wonder how people take my way of writing Rima, so I'm glad you think I'm doing well :) And, no, thank you, for enjoying this beast ._. I love SHINee :D Key's my bias~ He's too awesome. xD Actually, he's in EXO's Two Moons, if you're interested in listening to more of him.**

**So…. Yeah. Thanks so much to those who stuck with me, to those who are now just finding me, and to those that will be here until I finally check "complete". I love you guys~ 3**


	18. Chapter 16

**Warning** Swearing, lots of swearing, because Jaimie is Satan's spawn and since when do they care about manners? And suggestiveness.

Chapter 16

_The night was black, like his mood. For the past six months He had been searching _frantically_ for his love. She must be so frightened without him. He could just imagine how much she cried at night thinking about him, how much she missed him when she looked at that bitch she had given birth to. Ah, but he had tried to spare her that future. The thing she had grown inside her should have died that day, but somehow, as he had found out when he had managed to discern where her piece of shit mother had spirited his love away to, the monster had survived. And then again! Somehow, His Rima had been kidnapped yet again by her parents and brought far, far away from him, the spawn still alive and breathing._

_ The twinkling of the stars above him must surely be each of the tears she had shed as she was dragged away. A slight giggle escaped his lips as he imagined the sparkling drops of moisture rolling down her cheeks. It was her most beautiful feature. Of course, all of her was beautiful (she wouldn't be worth his interest if that weren't so), but her screams and tears—they're what turned him on the most, what made his breath turn short and clouded his mind with need. Just the thought of it now…. _

_ Ah, but they'd be reunited soon enough. A friend of His had seen her, the thing, and some other bitch at the clinic she worked at._

_ His vision turned red as he thought about Rima. This friend, someone he had known in high school but who had moved away around the time he and Rima had started dating, had proven to be useful; He was quite proud of his decision back then to keep in contact with her. However, the information she had divulged to him did _not_ make him happy. At all. After having letting it slip in friendly conversation that she had seen Rima accompanying that pink-haired bitch, He had asked oh so sweetly (could one expect any less from him?) if she could "find" out more about Rima, secretly of course, because He just missed her _so_ much, but Rima had "just left one night without another word, so he was afraid she hated him now." Idiot girl readily agreed, hopeless fucking romantic. Lips curling back in a snarl, he thought of the information the chick had given him with a dreamy air to her voice._

_ "Rima looks so pretty now—can you just imagine? She had always been such a beautiful little thing! I think she's a mother now. Awww, the little girl is so beautiful! She looks just like her! —" Blah, blah, yawn; get the fuck on with it you bitch. "And she's got a new boyfriend," she added slyly, as though He would be happy with that news; ah, but that's right. He loved her, didn't he? So he should be happy she's happy. "Such a looker. Damn~ I have been a sucker for guys with long hair. Oh~ And you know what I saw tonight? I think it was their first kiss, they both looked so shy," she giggled._

_ He hadn't heard anymore. He had immediately "hung up" his cellphone (if throwing it against a wall so that it fireworked off into different directions in a bright display of plastic and wires and the chip that had held his only mode of contacting His old "friend"._

_ He'd fucking kill them. All of them._

The warmth lingered on her lips for hours later. In all that time, no thoughts broke through the fog clouding her head as she got Emiko ready for bed, as she read her a story, as she tucked the toddler in firmly and turned off the lights. It wasn't until she sat at her kitchen table listening to the tic-tic-toc of the clock hanging on the far left wall, each little movement of the hands causing her fists to clench tighter in her lap, did her brain _finally_ process what had happened; at once, her cheeks flooded red and her fingers touched lips that hadn't touched another male's since Jaimie.

At first, she was embarrassed and angry, and not a little bit scared. Rima wished she could say she was scared by the thought of such closeness with a male. But deep inside, she knew the real reason she was scared was because she had _liked_ it. She could admit that now, hours later and alone, the sudden realization sending her thoughts into turmoil, snippets of logical ideas beating briefly into her consciousness before slipping back into darkness. How was she supposed to act around Nagi now? _Why is he such an idiot?_ Rima thought bitterly, fondness softening the harsh thought—and there in laid the problem. She liked him too much, didn't she? This wasn't okay. She had a daughter she had to protect. Any day, she could have to pick up and leave, which would only be made harder if she grew too attached to Nagi. Friends, that was one thing. They could still talk, over the phone. Maybe. But if she fell in love? How could she deal with the pain? It would be bad enough that she was taking Emiko away from people _she_ cared about (namely, Mrs. Fujisaki and Hiroki, whom she had met when Sora still was the one caring for her)—Rima didn't need that kind of attachment. Emi was her first priority.

Her eyes started to sting, and it took her a few moments to realize she was crying. _Why did everything need to turn out this way?_ Rima wrapped her arms around herself, her fingers finding easily the scar she hadn't touched in months and resuming the routine motions she had never realized she'd done before Nagi. She couldn't fall in love. She _couldn't. _

_I won't._

Her heart didn't want to listen, though. Her chest felt empty at the reminder that everything was temporary. Jaimie would never stop looking for them, and she was foolish to have ever thought she could escape. She'd forgotten about the dangers around every corner because of one man, and now her whole livelihood was at risk. Cold to the bone, Rima found herself yet again shaking and sobbing because of Nagi inadvertently reminding her of Jaimie. A man she would never be able to run fast or far enough from.

**ㅠㅠ ****Of course I'm sorry I took even this long for an update, but for once it wasn't laziness. I finish school in three weeks. Read it, **_**15 school days**_**, as I am writing out this chapter and author's note. Literally, I wake up in the morning, get ready for school, go to school, come home, and do homework until I go to bed. I have had no free time whatsoever until yesterday, and after practically being in school for 120 hours, I definitely just wanted a day to myself, so I caught up on all the videos I had to, with not a little remorse, click "Watch Later" on. However, to make matters worse, I have now been banned from the internet unless I'm doing homework or looking for a job (and I don't know the *ing password which is really frustrating me. I have penpals I need to reply to, but apparently, even though I plan on pursuing a career as an interpreter, my Korean is a waste of my time). So, this is going up a little later than I had even intended, but it's getting done.**

**I'm actually pretty proud of this chapter? We'll see if the, oh-my-goddess-this-really-sucks-doesn't-it?s start between now and the time I actually upload, but overall I'm happy. Main reason being, the end is FINALLY in sight. I still don't have an estimate on chapters, but the end of the road is there. Right past my fingertips. Right THERE. **

**Okay, now I'm going to open this website up on my phone even though it doesn't work very well so I can reply to the reviews. =_=**

**KPOP CORNER~~~ B.A.P. is BACK! *_* YoungJae…. And I am not going to be able to keep up with EXO ****ㅠㅠ ****I wanted to right by this group since I've followed them since the beginning, but now they're going to fall behind just like everyone else. WAE?**

**Reviews~ **

**Peachygotit-Kica: It's perfectly alright. I do that with stories I even just read the day before _ So I can't feel insulted when I took a month to update ^^;;; Thank you, and I hope you enjoyed this one :D**

**ZeldaRulesAll: I did something like that recently to my sister on the bus _ My bus driver pretty much says everyday (because of me mostly), "You can't make this stuff up" while shaking his head like we're crazy :D I hope Rima's response doesn't disappoint! lol I won't kill you. Key's only my SHINee bias, he's not even one of my Ultimate biases (that would be Big Bang's TOP, Infinite's DongWoo, and EXO's Tao (I obviously like the rappers ._. lol)) And I wouldn't kill you anyway xD Who'd read my story? Joking~ Everyone has their opinions :) Ahh, Taeminnie…. Did you hear about how he recently apologized for being too pretty? xD**


	19. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Amu glanced around the cool room nervously, taking in the other mothers and mothers-to-be, the children and infants and swells beneath flowing clothing. She looked down at very own distended belly, wondering yet again how she was going to handle caring for another life. She had lost her job a month before when her pregnancy had gotten out, the company feeling that having a pregnant teenager on their team would affect their image too negatively to be worth keeping her. She was only one person, after all. Easily replaced.

But that wasn't really true anymore, was it? At that very moment, she was the sole reason her son was living, safely ensconced in her womb, his little body growing bigger each day, becoming more and more capable of living out in a world where they'd fire a young mother-to-be trying to get on her feet and not rely on anyone but herself…. Her parents would only do so much for her, give her a roof to live under, advice if she needed it, but she had made her bed. She needed to lie in it.

Four months. In four months she would see her son outside of the grainy black and white sonograms, hold him in her arms and finally, if Rima was to be believed, realize that all of the stress and doctor's appointments were worth it. And she'd finally know exactly whose blood he shared. The man she had loved since the first time she'd seen him, the older brother of one of her close friend; or the ex-boyfriend of her once best friend, with whom, in an act of drunken stupidity, she had managed to nearly single-handedly tear apart the years of friendship that had bound the eight members of their little group. Because even if Tadase had initiated it, she had been the one to follow him into that room on unsteady feet.

The tears staining her cheeks weren't anything new so she simply ignored them, distracting herself by drawing nonsensical patterns on her distended belly.

"Amu."

The called quickly wiped away her tears on her sleeve, giving Ikuto a shaky smile. He frowned at her and sat down while adjusting the jacket of his uniform, the presence of which reminded Amu that the elder's shift hadn't ended that long ago. And yet he was there, ready to sit through yet another doctor's visit for a child that might not even be his. "Damn these hormones," the pinkette muttered, more for herself than the male who by all rights should have outright rejected her that night she'd called him in the middle of the night wanting to talk. She didn't like crying. She didn't like showing this side of herself, the scared little girl who she had never really grown out of. Blaming it on her overworked body only made her feel slightly better, however.

"It's… alright," Ikuto replied awkwardly, reaching out to still Amu's restless hands. It was weird seeing her like that, and he was quite certain he didn't like it. The puffiness surrounding her tired eyes didn't suit her, nor did the way she seemed to have closed herself off from any and all contact from the outside world. True, she had always been a bit standoffish, but never had she been so silent. For the past two months, after finally convincing Amu with a surprising amount of help from her little blonde friend that he should, Ikuto had been joining Amu on her monthly visits and helping in any way possible the rest of month. As much as he had actually found himself _enjoying_ these baby outings, there was one thing he couldn't ignore. And that was that Amu didn't seem like she really wanted to have her (their?) son. He couldn't imagine why not. Even if it was Tadase's, at the end of the day, Ikuto was the one tagging along to look at little baby things that they might need, the one whose hand was held while the ultrasound technicians worked their magic. It was _his_ son. _And nothing, at this point, was going to change that._ The thought didn't really surprise Ikuto much. Probably since somewhere in the back of his head, that had always been fact. Even if it hadn't been organized into so many words.

"Is it really?" Amu answered sadly, eyes downcast.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ikuto shot back, clenching his teeth at the hopeless tone coloring her words.

Amu shook her head and sighed, a glare forming as the seconds of silence ticked by. "This world is just so messed up. I really just… I'm afraid of bringing a life into this hell. I wish I knew someone else who knew what this was like and could tell me that everything will be alright, that I'll do right by my son. Nobody really cares here. It's so easy for years' worth of friendship to end for one mistake, to fire an expecting teenage mother who _needs_ her job. How can it be 'alright' that in four months he's going to be exposed to all this hate? Or maybe not right away, but one day. How, Ikuto? How can it be 'alright'?"

"You're not as alone as you seem to think you are. Your parents didn't abandon you, not like my grandparents did _their_ daughter. You still have that short friend of yours, the one with the attitude and the kid attached to her hip. And I'm here, right? So just take it one freaking day at a time and stop worrying so much. You're so out of it, you didn't even realize that your name was just called."

Amu jumped up immediately, her face turning a bright red as she very carefully ignored Ikuto's smirk. His little speech definitely didn't make her completely certain she was doing the right thing, but it helped. Just a little.

She didn't notice the small, rare smile that adorned his face as he trailed behind her. At least one of them knew they were doing exactly what they needed to.

Yaya jumped to the next shadow, careful to miss the tiny crack hidden in its dark interior. She didn't like that things still weren't back to normal, not at all. She missed playing games with Nadeshiko, and coloring with Amu, she missed going to fun places like the amusement park or the zoo with everyone. But most of all, she missed Kairi. His smile had always made her happiest, but he never wanted to hang out with her anymore, let alone smile. What made Amu so great? Was it because she had pink hair? Well! Yaya had _pigtails_. And she was a-dor-a-ble. With a capital "cute".

The next shadow was a little harder to jump to, but she managed to avoid the lit expanse of sidewalk by a few centimeters.

"Nobody ever cares about Yaya," she sighed sadly, eying the distance between her current location and the next shadow— it was no use. There was simply too much of a gap, just like the one between hers and Kairi's hearts. He had only ever seen Amu, and that's all he would ever see. She sighed again and spun on her heel, deciding to go back the way she came and try to find another route but instead of meeting the empty resistance-less-ness of air, her body came in contact with that of another body.

"Yaya?"

"K-Kairi?" she squeaked, bouncing back into a defensive position that probably (definitely) wasn't needed. The green-haired male raised a brow at her behavior, pushing up his glasses as he did so. Why did he need to look so dang—excuse her language—smart and _handsome_? He had grown up a lot since they first met, when she was eleven and he ten. Granted, in behavior neither had changed very much; Yaya hadn't yet accepted the responsibilities of her age, and Kairi always had been far beyond his years. However, there was just… something… about him that drew Yaya in a way she wasn't sure she liked. Especially since at the end of the day it meant her heart was continuously being smashed against the cold ground because she knew he wasn't ever going to allow her in. He was too busy entertaining thoughts of a certain older girl who wouldn't ever be his.

"What are you doing?" he inquired with a small frown, inspecting the ground around them as if it held all the answers he would ever seek.

"Playing 'Shadow-Jumpers,'" Yaya gushed back, pasting on the smile she was always careful not to drop around him. "If you touch ground with light, you burn up! Ah! But you can't land on any cracks, either. Because, you know, 'step on a crack, break your mother's back.' And I don't want that!"

"Of… course not…." Kairi acquiesced, pursing his lips. "Anyway. As it appears that it is about lunch time, how would you feel about accompanying me for some refreshments? It… Ah, how to put this? I feel as though you have distanced yourself, and I have decided to take it upon myself to help you."

Yaya's smile faltered as she considered what he just said. "Taken it upon himself".

"I don't wanna," Yaya pouted. "I'm not _hungry_~"

"I know a place with good desserts," he bargained, watching her expression carefully. As much as she tried to hide it, he did notice the flicker of sadness that flashed across Yaya's eyes before she managed to hide it, but for the life of him, he couldn't imagine what he had said or done to make her feel such. It was illogical.

"You can't buy me," Yaya suddenly snapped, spinning back on her heel and walking on the lit sidewalk. Maybe it was about time she stopped hiding in the shadows and got burnt.

"Buy you?" Kairi repeated in shock, grabbing onto the elder's arm. "How am I trying to _buy_ you? I was merely trying to be helpful—"

"Stop pretending like you care. We all know you only _really_ care about Amu."

And there it was, spoken aloud for the first time. Everything she kept locked inside, behind her silly mannerisms and childish games, came gushing out in one disgusting wave, at the end of which she found herself in the arms of an extremely shocked and confused Kairi.

_ The night really was the best time for travel. No one bothered you at night, no pesky soccer-moms; no hour-long traffic jams because some idiot decided they needed someone to guide the already perfectly capable drivers into chaos. He liked the night. You can do a lot of things at night…. Like, say, break into a school and find out the home address of your one true love so you can pay them a visit. And no one would ever know._

Soon, Rima love. Soon we'll be together again.

_ And then all he would need to do is get rid of that brat and the fucker who thought he had had rights to _his_ Rima's lips._

_**So**_**... I'm not dead? Yay? ^^;;; I'm not even going to bother with excuses, but as I promised I'm not giving up. I threw in some Amuto and Yairi (since I started that a while back and I obviously need to tie up those loose threads before the story ends… which will be soon. Did you see Jamie?). I apologize for the way I wrote Yaya's part. But it is the way it is for a very good reason, so I hope you can appreciate it.**

***le sigh* Not completely satisfied with this, but I've been trying for a while to come up with a new chapter, and I have two other fics (on another site) that I've also been putting off. I can only do so much, dang it (again, not getting into all the reason for the late update. I hope you can understand **(- /|\ -) )

**My Kpop corner this time around is actually a thought…. While I had not intended it to be this way, I noticed in the revision stage (as lack-luster as I feel it is T_T) that Amu's fears for her son reminded me of EXO's song "MAMA", about how the world doesn't care anymore and no one knows how to love anymore. I just felt like pointing that out (and remember my spazzing when they **_**FINALLY**_** debuted? There's been a LOT more spazzing since then. I seriously love this group. EXO-K finished their promotions for MAMA a week ago (their first goodbye stages T_T Give me a second….), but EXO-M is still promoting…. So… yeah. Even though they're all older than me (though Sehun is only a month older), they're just so **_**adorable**_**. They seriously remind me of little kids half the time (the other half is when they're on stage, music videos, etc.). I'm done. I need to be done.**

**I'll stop, because I could go on forever and no one cares anyway. Reviews~~! (two freaking months. Are you kidding me? ****바보****. ****진짜 ㅠㅠ****)**

**WinnieCocoaFlip: ^^ Thanks :)**

**Cutevampkitten03: Thanks for understanding ****ㅠㅠ ****Still eternally sorry, though (now more so than ever… I can't even. How did it take me THIS long?)**

**Black Rose: Emi ninja-ness next chapter. You didn't hear that from me :x**

**Sofiebear1120: Jaimie is Satan's spawn ****ㅍ****_****ㅍ ****So, yeah. ****ㅋㅋ**

**Lalalola012: Oh my chickens…? That is seriously the most daebak (or in English, **_**epic **_**(loosely translated)) thing I have ever heard xD Crazy-pathetic-fangirl is perfectly alright with me ;P And oh my Goddess, thank you thank you so so much. That is like, the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me T_T I'm not that good of an author…. And I do the same thing. Reading the last word, that is ;)**

**ZeldaRulesAll: Dun dun dun…. We'll see how this plays out… (*lines up Nagi's atomic bombs*) ****ㅋㅋ ****And thanks so much T_T**


	20. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Rima ran a hand through her hair wearily, picking up Emiko's toys (which had been thrown to just about every corner of the house) as she went along. Where the culprit of said mess had run off to, Rima could honestly say she had no idea. Then again, that was kind of the point. Since the two-year old had decided it was time to play hide-and-go-seek when she was supposed to be putting toys away, shouting out a "Mommy, find me! Hide and seek!" and running away without waiting for an answer.

"Mommy! Are you looking?!"

Rima glanced over to the sound of the voice, Emi's little fingers and golden hair clearly visible from around the corner she was standing behind, a small smile finding itself on her lips.

"I'm looking! You're such a good hider, though. I don't think I'll ever find you," she added, to which Emiko giggled.

"If you look reeeeally hard, you'll find me!" she stage-whispered, peeking out slightly before ducking back into her hiding place. Rima sighed, shaking her head as though at a loss for words.

"I don't know, Emi…," she play sniffled, pretending to wipe at her eyes when her daughter peeked out from her hiding spot again. "I don't think I'll ever find you."

"Don't cry," Emi cried, immediately running up to her mother and jumping up and down to pull her hand away from her eyes. "I'm right here! See? You found me!"

"Oh!" Rima replied in faux shock and opened her mouth to say something else when the doorbell's shrill call rang through the house. The older blonde's brows furrowed in confusion, considering she hadn't been expecting anyone, but with a pat on Emiko's head and an order that the younger finish picking up _her _mess, Rima went to go answer the door. Only to have her heart stop in her chest.

"Nagi…."

The purple-haired male stood little more than a foot away from her, face blank as his hair was teased by the wind and stained white by the snow Rima had just noticed was falling. Just as quick as her heart rate had ceased, it picked up two-fold as who her surprise guest was really sank in. It had been almost a week since she had last seen, last _spoken_ to the male before her and it wasn't until that moment that she truly realized how much she had missed his presence. Not even realizing what was happening, Rima wrapped her arms around her friend, a strange peace overcoming her as he hesitantly returned the embrace.

She shouldn't be doing this. She had _promised _herself that she would back off, that she would distance the two of them. And yet her she was, _initiating _contact. Claustrophobia tried clawing its way into her throat but then Nagihiko started talking and her muscles relaxed, as though her body knew, instinctively, that this was someone safe. Someone she could trust.

"Is something wrong? Rima?"

Rima shook her head and pulled away, biting at her lip nervously as a light blush creeped across her cheeks. "Emiko missed you," she replied evasively, motioning that he should follow her.

"Only Emiko did?" Nagi replied as he shut the door behind himself, thoroughly enjoying how her face turned a brighter red at his words. He had to admit, he'd come to the house fairly upset. On one level, when he had kissed Rima, he'd known that what had happened-being completely ignored- would occur, but as the days slowly passed into two and three, until they reached five whole days of neither a word nor a glance, he had somehow found his car parked in front of Rima's home. And then his sneakers were leaving uneven tracks in the freshly fallen snow, the crunch-crunch echoing loudly in his ears. And his finger was then pressed against the glowing blue button beside the familiar door, music going off within the house. None of this really registered, not really. The first thing he _did _notice was how Rima's thin arms had wrapped around his waist and her body had shaken as though she were terrified.

Probably proof for how far he had fallen for Rima in such a short time, any anger or frustration had disappeared. Not only had Rima willingly hugged him, _of her own accord, _she had had let him into her house.

Rima coughed slightly and glanced over her shoulder, not really focusing on Nagihiko, and admitted shyly, "I may have may have missed having you around to make fun of."

Nagi grinned and went to say something else when Rima suddenly cursed.

"Emiko! Why are there still toys on the floor?!" No answer came in reply and Rima growled under her breath, pushing her hair behind her ear as she bent down to pick up toy car she had stubbed her toe on. She hadn't even wanted to let the girl have the thing anyway, but her own mother had insisted all little girls needed Barbies, thus resulting in Rima continuously participating in a make-shift version of Roller-skating when Emiko got in a mood and wouldn't pick up after herself. Speaking of which…. "Where did you go, brat?"

Hearing Nagihiko suddenly shout, Rima spun around, leveling a glare at the little minx who had attached herself to Nagihiko's back. Said male's eyes were wide in shock, his head slightly turned despite the tight grip the two-year old had around his neck.

"Daddy!" she said happily, slapping a sloppy kiss on Nagi's cheek, completely unaware of the shocked silence her exclamation had left. "Where was you?"

"Ah…," Nagi replied dumbly, looking towards Rima worriedly as though afraid she'd be angry. On the contrary, the elder blonde was a bit shocked, but mostly scared. Terrified, even. Emiko had never even asked where her father was, and yet here she was, feeling the need to claim Nagihiko as such. To Rima, that meant one thing: This was no longer just about leaving behind friends and companions, but _family. _She had realized Emi had come to love the purple-haired male, but this…. Oh, God was she going to do? She was going to _need_ to leave. Soon. She didn't know why, or how she knew, but the fear was hanging tauntingly in the back of her head, biting and whispering evilly that the happiness she had found in Seiyo would soon change.

"He, ah," Rima replied nervously as Nagi twisted so Emiko's position changed from his back to his arms. It just seemed… right. "Daddy was busy, but he said he's sorry he's been gone."

Nagihiko's eyes widened, his mouth opening but nothing came out. Emiko grinned and nodded eagerly, pecking his cheek again. "It's okay! I forgive you, 'cause you're here now! Wanna go with me to my birthday tomorrow? Mommy said she can't," Emi added with a pout

"Who's birthday is it?" he asked, the smile he had given her faltering slightly, but not so much that it could be noticed. His nephew's birthday was only two days away, a fact that, as each minute passed, became harder to ignore.

"My boyfriend's!" she stage-whispered, glancing askance at her mother, who only shook her head.

"What! Why am I just hearing about this now?" Nagihiko replied over-dramatically, giving Emiko a hurt expression. "You're just growing up too fast!"

"That's what mommy said," the younger blonde sighed, shaking her head at them in a manner that seemed beyond her years: a mixture of exasperation and teasing. _This was definitely Rima's child, _Nagi thought as he smiled softly at the girl.

"Is it alright?" Nagihiko asked Rima nervously. He had never been left alone with Emiko before, so he didn't want to just assume anything—even if the elder blonde _had _yielded to his having the title "daddy".

"It's fine," Rima said distractedly, surprising both of them as the nonchalant tone fully settled in. Nagi grinned at the shorter as a perplexed look ran through her eyes, but quickly stifled it when she turned a glare on the boy. "I need to go make supper. Put her down so she can finish picking up her toys before mom gets home."

To say Mrs. Mashiro was shocked when she walked into her kitchen to see a strange male holding her granddaughter would be a major understanding. If it weren't for the fact that Rima wasn't knocked out cold on the ground and tied up and Emiko seemed completely comfortable braiding the long purple locks, she probably would have been terrified. It had been years since she had last seen Rima with any man other than her father and _never _did she leave her child with one. When Emi had been an infant, even her own grandfather had had to have either Rima herself or her mother in the room when he held her.

"Hello?" she greeted hesitantly, placing her groceries on the faux marble counter. The scent of spices and cooking meat reached her nose as well as the sound of boiling on the stove. Everything felt so… normal. And yet here, in her kitchen, the world seemed to have tilted on its axis. If she had to guess, pigs had learned how to fly.

"Ah, hello," the boy replied, allowing Emiko to slide off his lap with a fatherly smile as he tried, in vain, to unknot his long hair.

"Gramama!" Emiko squealed, launching herself at the older woman's legs.

"Where's your….Where's Rima, Emiko?" Mrs. Mashiro asked, glancing at the male who was still struggling to right his hair.

"Mommy went to the bathroom! So daddy was watching me! Gramama, daddy said he'd go with me to my birthday party tomorrow," she added, each new thought shooting out seemingly before the previous one had ended.

"D-daddy?" her grandmother replied, unsure of how to respond; not only had Emiko just called Rima her mother in front of the stranger, but just as easily she had called the man her father. At least, she fairly certain that's who the title had been aimed at, her thoughts confirmed when Emi grinned up at the boy with a "right?" and receiving a soft smile and a nod in return. Just what was all this? She had known Rima had made friends, but she had only seen _female _ones, had had no reason to suspect a male friend. Anger flashed through her body but she sighed and patted Emiko's head, the soft blonde tresses no different than her mother's had been when she was still a child. Speaking of, in that moment Rima walked into the room, her eyes widening slightly when she saw her mother standing in the middle of the room, Emi still wrapped around her legs.

"Mom, you're home early."

"Shouldn't I be? Who is this?"

Rima clenched her teeth at the tone but refused to award it with a likewise answer. Nagihiko immediately stood up, glancing nervously at Rima as though he could sense the sudden tension in the air.

"I'm, ah, I'm Nagihiko Fujisaki, ma'am," he greeted politely, walking over and holding out a hand. Mrs. Mashiro glanced at it coldly and the appendage fell to his side as he glanced at his friend confusedly. The elder blonde merely shook head at him and went over to the stove to stir the noodles, which had managed to only stick a little to the bottom, thankfully.

"I asked Rima. She's fully capable of answering me," the eldest replied. Rima clenched her teeth harder. It had been a long time since her mother had last used that tone with her. In fact, not since Emiko had been born. What frustrated Rima the most wasn't the tone itself, but the reason she knew was behind it. Since that day in the hospital when the doctor had revealed she was pregnant, her mother had never looked at Rima the same way again. The condemnation had dissipated once the tiny bundle had been in her arms, but it never fully disappeared…. And now here it was, back in full force.

"He's my friend, mom. Just a friend." She could've sworn she saw Nagi's expression drop but she shook away the regret that somehow wormed its way in. They were, after all, only friends. Only… friends.

"Why is your daughter calling him 'daddy', then? Can you explain that?"

Rima didn't bother replying, opening up the oven to check the chicken. Satisfied it was done, she slipped on oven mitts and pulled out the pan, placing the thing on top of the stove. When her mother got in a mood, it was best to ignore her.

"I should've known this wouldn't last," the eldest said mirthlessly, sending Nagihiko a judging glance. "How many times has he been here?"

"Plenty," Rima replied. Just because. She didn't need the woman who had never even _wanted _to know the truth behind Emi's conception to judge her for the things she didn't understand. She knew what her relationship with Nagi was. That's what mattered, that she felt… safe. Safe in a way she hadn't in a while. Not just in a literal sense, but on a deep level.

"Of course."

"I'm sorry?" Nagi's voice caused both women look at him shock. He looked completely calm, but something told Rima he wasn't. Without even thinking about it, she went over and placed a hand on his arm, shaking her head slightly.

"Was one not enough?"

Rima's expression hardened at that but she didn't reply, turning away and walking into the other room. She returned a few minutes with Emi's coat and a small bag. "We're leaving. There's food on the stove, but you might want to wait because it's still hot."

Emiko seemed really confused, probably just as much as the other two in the room, but she didn't struggle as her arms were guided into the padded sleeves.

"Let's go," was all Rima said, picking up Emi and walking away, not even bothering to see if Nagi was following her. When they were outside, while Rima was buckling Emi into her seat, Nagihiko finally spoke up.

"What was that?"

"I already told you," she replied coldly. "I never told my mother what Jaimie did to me. And even if I did now, she'd twist it so I'm still the bad guy. I can't be at home right now. I've had too much on my mind lately and I just don't need this on top of it all."

"…. Do you want to come over? I don't think Nadeshiko will have a problem with it, and I know my mother won't," Nagihiko asked, pushing what he really wanted to say to the back of his mind. He hadn't much liked the tone Rima that had been given, but to know it was because she was being judged for something that wasn't even her fault, something she hadn't asked for?

"I was going to go see Amu," Rima replied, glancing away as she shut the car door.

"Rima."

The called looked up, and Nagihiko couldn't help but admire how strong she looked despite her small frame and all she had gone through. It really was impossible for him to deny that he loved her, not when she looked up at him like that.

"I'm not going to do anything to you."

"I know you're not."

"Okay?" He didn't know exactly what he meant by that one word, but Rima sighed nonetheless and waved her hand at him weakly.

"Whatever, as long you've got something for Emiko to eat."

Nagihiko smiled slightly, but Rima had already turned away and slipped into her car.

_It was late when he finally reached the sign marked "Welcome to Seiyo". If there wasn't just so much fucking traffic—Thanksgiving's a worthless holiday anyway. What was there to be thankful of, anyway, when your possessions think they can just do what they want with anyone they want. He scoffed as he came to the first intersection, frustration causing him to tighten his hands around his tattered steering wheel. First there was the long drive from that shit-hole he pretended to call home, impeded by the fools off to whatever the fuck it was that they thought it was necessary for them to do at the end of every November. And now this. Before he could even reclaim Rima, he had to meet up with that chick because after she had made him break his phone, he had had no way to contact her. And thus, no way to know where Rima lived. _

_The parking lot outside the clinic was empty except for the vehicles sitting before signs marked "Employee Parking". The piece-of-shit cars held little interest for him. No, what held his interest was the slim brunette who was walking out the front door; she was thinner than she used to be, but her face was just as ugly as ever—everyone was ugly when they were compared to Rima. That's why she was only one anywhere near good enough for him. All this time he had been _worried _about that little bitch, and she had been sleeping around behind his back. It was only a matter of time before she got what was coming for her._

_His old "friend" jumped when he slammed his truck door, the sound echoing through the darkness, but her expression cleared when she realized who was there. So she was an idiot, too. Of course. That could _definitely_ work in his favor._

_The chick smiled at him before _daring _to touch him without his express permission. Oh yes, he'd enjoy "dealing" with her when he was done._

**._.;;; The thing about that is…. Hehehe…****.**** ^_^;;;; I wasn't neglecting this for another fic, nor was it laziness. I was suffering from **_**THE **_**worst writer's block of my life. I'm starting to get out of it now, but it had honestly been getting to the point where I was afraid I had forgotten how to write, as over-dramatic as that sounds. Literally **_**nothing**_** would come out, and it's never been that bad. I tried, I seriously did. Here's a long chapter to make up for it, but I'm really worried it's not up to par. I'm still kind of writers blocked but I **_**really **_**wanted to update. I hate making ya'll wait so long for me, I seriously do.**

**So, yeah. Emiko called Nagi "daddy" and Rima let her. Not long now, and I actually think I know exactly how they're going to get officially together but I'm not making any promises. I tried really hard to bring in Emi's ninja-ness, but it didn't come out exactly as how I wanted it. At this point, updating was the most important thing so it is what it is. Rima's mom didn't know about Nagi (because she's usually working), nor does she know Jaimie had raped Rima. All she knows was that he would beat her. So that's what that was. She's a very judging woman with conservative ideals. The date at the beginning is December 3****rd****, but the part with Jaimie is actually a few days before. So you don't get confused later. Blah. I still enjoy writing this, but at the same time I really want to be done with Shugo Chara! =_=**

**My Kpop corner isn't going to feature EXO this time around (it could. Rumors for their comeback are starting, and Luhan let it slip in an interview that it would be in autumn, but that lasts until the 21****st**** of December so….) But anyway. SUPER JUNIOR YEAH YEAH. I wasn't an E.L.F officially last I updated, I don't think. I've been fighting against it for years, actually :/ But I gave in just in time for their comeback in July. So my spazziness is happiness over the release of "Sexy, Free & Single" and "SPY" (I personally really like "SPY". A lot lot more than I should, but I can see why it's not doing so well for a SUJU song :( The dance version of the MV is a LOT better, too) And sadness-ish because Leeteuk is leaving for his service in the military soon. Even before I called myself an Ever Lasting Friend (E.L.F, Super Junior's name for their fans) I liked Leeteuk. He was the first member I knew (he's not my bias, that's Ryeowook because his voice is *insert keyboard smash* I can't) and it's just… weird. He's the leader. SUJU wouldn't be who they are without him. So yeah -_-;; I mean, as a Kpop fan, you **_**know **_**that one day, the members in your favorite bands will have to leave to serve in the army, but that doesn't really make it easier. Two years doesn't seem like a long time, but it really is. In the past year since I started studying Korean, my ability has grown exponentially****.**** Even in the last few **_**weeks **_**I've been noticing a surprising increase in my ability to understand what I'm listening to, or to at least be able to**_** hear**_** what is being said so I can look it up. Two years ago, I never thought I'd even read a fan fiction and now I've got… five on here? And seven on another site. Two years ago I was in high school and in a few days I'm starting college. When you look at it like that, you can maybe understand why it's such a big deal to fans even though we know it's inevitable. **

***le sigh* Alrighty then, reviews :) (kind of a lot o_o I was shocked with the response to the last chapter)**

**Lalalola012: D: I'm so so sorry! It's definitely been more than 15 seconds ****ㅠㅠ****I hope you can understand and I hope this helps quench your thirst! I'm going to start on the next chapter immediately, but college is starting so…. I'll try my best :(**

**Ripplerose: Revenge is soon :3 I've got a popcorn machine for refills! Load up!**

**Sofiebear1120: I cross the line? :( I don't think I understand. If you wouldn't mind explaining? And Nagi… he has his evil streak but he's also sensible. We'll just have to wait to see. But seriously, thank you. :) I'm glad I've written something good enough that someone would consider it one of their favorite stories.**

**SerenePanic: Ahhhhh thanks ****ㅜㅜ****When I write something to be emotional, I always feel like I overdo it. Grahh, just thanks.**

**cutevampkitten03: I always read my comments when I get them, but it's been so long I forget what most of them say ._. I forgot how many people actually liked my Yairi moment. Haha so thanks. And I still, rightfully so, I think, feel bad that I take so long to update :( Forgiveness is not necessary…****.**

**ZeldaRulesAll: Bwahaha :3 I lives~ *cough* eheheh… yeah… Anywhoodles, thanks :D**

**Person: I know D: *shiver***

**Wisteria Blossom: :D Thanks**

**kimichi-tan: I'm not gonna lie, on my phone your name looked like "kimchi" at first and I was like, nom-nom. But anyway. Thanks :)**

**Yuki Mashiro: I'M NEVER GONNA QUIT. THIS STORY WILL END AND JAIMIE WILL GET HIS. Don't be sad, Yuki-tan! Here's a chapter :'(**

**The mobile version of this site has changed since the last time I was on and I literally had to dig for my story to answer the reviews. I couldn't figure out how to log in _**

**I'm house-sitting for my step-sister, so I've got internet access right now :) I thought it would be longer than this to get it up but yeah~ :D See you all (hopefully) soon.**


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